*Captain’s Report Special*
The facts man, just the facts.
With two weeks left of the league season, we were assured of our place in the quarter finals by virtue of our win in week 8. With the words (along the lines of the previous sentence) of Coach Walls ringing in my ears, I did a quick head count for our penultimate game of the season, and worked out that I could gather five players quite easily – Me, JY, Magic, Lee G & Ben.
With Dave G moving house, and James Harness away on holiday I needed a sixth player – or did I? With our fate as league winners sealed I took a management decision to not bother recruiting a sixth player.
So it was with five men good and true that the Racks Pack convoy left Maidenhead for their Monday night date with The Golden Cross, Twyford.
Ahhhh the Golden Cross Twyford. The names conjures up images of a sleepy pub in a sleepy Berkshire town. Umbrellas in the garden, doddery old gits sitting in the corner of the pub chewing on the gravy, and the kind of smoky atmosphere you could cut through with a knife.
All that would be blasted to crap – literally – when we walked through the door to the pool room. Confronted by a 5 x 3 pool table in a 5.5 x 3.5 room, above it playing music so loud that my ears started bleeding, and a team of people vogueing or something similar, the only thing in danger of being cut through was my ear drum.
Surely they would turn it down? No. If anything it got louder. Worse than the actual volume, was that the speaker itself looked like it had come from a Fisher Price disco set it was so small – meaning that it wasn’t loud, clear music coming through, it was loud but completely distorted.
Anyway we ploughed on regardless, knowing that we were through anyway. Wrong!! After a brief shout with their captain I found out that both teams had lost only one game, and our one draw compared to their two was the only thing separating us from them.
I would love to tell you how, once again, we overcame the odds and battered them into submission but I can’t. We lost.
I knew we were in trouble when, at the bar, I asked the barman for a coke and he looked around as if he was gonna ask me to see him out the back in five minutes and he would see what he would do. I assured him I was after the kind that came with ice.
It was the kind of night where never really looked like winning, but not because we were playing badly but because we never had a single run of the balls. Particularly unlucky was JY and Ben Kiely. Twice he got to the black only to find himself on the cushion and cueing against the wall. 0-0 double doughnut.
JY had his game by the scruff when he snookered his opponent in his red behind his own final ball black. He not only got out of the snooker, but trebled the red in the corner leaving him perfect on the black.
I was the only player to win two that night and in the end we lost 7-5. I continued my good form and won twice, but with Neil, Lee & JY losing one each it wasn’t enough. Their captain accused me of being a good player! Well, I always kinda liked him!
So to the final games of the season, and with me ruling out a Golden Cross 12-0 victory against Grenfell Arms, a draw was required to get us to the knockout stages.
Once again Lee pulled out all the stops and bought Ben, Dave G AND Kailash Kohli ensuring that, for only the second time this season , the Captain had a decision to make (who to drop).
Things started well enough, with JY winning his first game, and with me on next surely we weren’t at home to Mr cock-up? Well potentially yes, as I played like a man with no thumbs. 1-1
Ben Kiely was up next attempting to prove that it is not humanly possible for one man to be unlucky in five straight games. Nice try Ben.1-2
It was time to put a spurt on; to make sure weren’t scrambling to get the draw in the last few games. Cue Dave Greenwood. Dave is from the school of pool that say keep it simple and pot as many balls as you can. No fancy stuff. He broke, matey boy had one shot, Dave cleared up. Nice one.
At 2-2 I was starting to get a bit more relaxed when I realised my two favourite players for knuckling down at the rear end (of a game that is) were up next – Neil & Lee. In fairness to their opponents, neither of them were ever in trouble. As regular Rackspack readers will know Lee can play these rules better then anyone, and played the non flair shot of the week to pin the black against his own red over the bag. His bum wobbled a bit when his opponent played a shot that relied completely to luck (smashin his balls around) and amazingly they all fell perfect for the clearance, but Captain Budg’s orders were clear and he duly obeyed. 2-4.
Second held was a similar story to the first. After Lee got his W-W for the night (2-5) Ben fell on his cue and allowed Kailash to have a game instead. Well a visit anyway – after which his opponent the dish in record time. 3-5.
After Dave lost (4-5) my bum was starting to wobble, especially when I realised I was up next. However after I attempted the “fairy” (hands that do dishes…) my oppo laid me in several snookers I kept getting out of. After some fudge and some budg, it was left to him to miss an easy black and leave it over the bag for me. No double-doughnut here. 4-6.
No we could relax, we had the draw. I knew John was relaxed when had the temerity to complain about having to play a woman. He overcame his opponent, as did Neil (winning pointless flair shot of the week for doubling-in the black in a match we had already won) and the final result (4-8) showed that in the final analysis we had overcome this potential banana skin quite easily.
Next stop, quarter finals.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tribute To Steve Platt
Steve Platt (or ‘How I learned to keep the noise down’)
While working away last week it was sad to hear about the passing of Steve Platt. I hadn’t seen him for a while now since he had moved to Spain but it was still a sad moment when Kevin rang me to let me know. I think the last time we had a beer together could have been the 3 man at Yarmouth two years ago.
He was a genuinely good guy who fought cancer for a long time and somehow managed to survive numerous “you only have ….. to live” statements from doctors and experts. He took everything with amazing courage and dignity and you couldn't help but be impressed with Steve’s attitude to it all. He served with myself and JY on the Thames Valley Pool Committee for a few years and also played in a number of teams with myself, Kevin, James Harness, Brad and Lee. This included the Berkshire county side and teams in the Slough and Windsor leagues.
In the late 80's and early 90's Steve, Kevin, Scott Yardley, James and Stuart Harness, Neil Dodds, Bobby Nicholas, myself (and a few others that I’m sure I’ve missed out on) [Phil Reeves & Jason Brown spring to mind – KS) were playing together in Windsor. We all played for Robert Uzzell’s Willow Wanderers team, and as a rule each night we were first into every venue and always the last to leave - home or away. We were a loud and raucous side but in a fun way. We spent the evenings drinking, laughing at stupid jokes and ‘bundling’ people on the sofa at the Willows Caravan Park. “Splatty” (so called because of the unfortunate way the pool cards were written out at the time – S. Platt) was always the straight man of the operation and the quietest.
At Willows they ran bingo for the pensioners in the main room next to the pool area. Whenever we got a bit too loud and were being told off by Gordon the owner, someone would always turn to Steve and shout “Splatty keep the noise down!!” so he would get the blame. Steve would just sit there with a ‘not impressed’ look on his face while we carried on. It was the running joke of the seasons that we would blame him for the chaos going on.
I’m not properly qualified to talk about the long and painful fight Steve had with cancer, or how happy he was to get married and move out to Spain so I will put up a couple of stories that I’m always reminded off when I think of him. I hope anyone reading this who knew him will appreciate it. If I had to describe him, he was a Sid Little look-a-like with a love of the horses, a few beers and a game of pool.
Once when he was in hospital I heard that to keep himself busy and his mind active, he ran a book on who in the ward would be next ‘to go’. He had himself at 8-1 until one day the doctors told him that they had found another tumour. I think it was Stuart Harness I spoke to when I said “How’s Steve doing?” and Stuart replied, “not great, he has just chopped himself down to even money favourite!”
One night in the Willows after the match had finished, Steve played Kevin and the rule was that you had to double the black in. The black ended up right over a corner pocket and so the rule changed so that you had to bounce the white off at least two cushions before potting it. While Kevin’s efforts were reasonably close, Steve’s were terrible. He would spend a minute or so lining something up, hit the cue ball and watch it do laps of the table not getting anywhere near the 8-ball. Kevin and I were laughing at every attempt, mostly because we knew Steve was no good at this so you could always beat him. Finally he lined up a four cushion special declaring ‘watch this’ and thundered the white off one cushion and straight into the pocket furthest from the black. Kevin fell on the floor laughing and Steve was furious at us for laughing and stormed out. He came back in sometime later and all was forgiven. From then on we always referred to an attempted escape to pot a ball that goes horribly wrong as a Stevie Platt. We still do it even now.
The third memory was being in Roberts car going to a county game. Steve was doing the crossword and had finished it. Robert picked the newspaper up and said “Steve you've missed one. 36 across -‘Tired Postman.’”
‘Tired postman?’ says Steve and begins to think…… after about two minutes he says:
‘How many letters?’
‘THOUSANDS’ says Rob ‘THAT'S WHY HE’S SO TIRED!!!’
Everyone cracked up. Everyone except Steve, who just looked at us all in despair before managing a big grin just wide enough to show the few teeth that remained in his mouth. I laughed so much at the whole situation I was in tears.
That was Steve, the straight and steady, well respected member of the group that helped make it all fit together. He was a truly great guy and I cant begin to imagine the courage it must have took him to fight that illness through all those years of treatment and hospitals.
If there is a heaven then he is definitely there, but one piece of advice Steve – ‘keep the noise down’
Keith Walls
While working away last week it was sad to hear about the passing of Steve Platt. I hadn’t seen him for a while now since he had moved to Spain but it was still a sad moment when Kevin rang me to let me know. I think the last time we had a beer together could have been the 3 man at Yarmouth two years ago.
He was a genuinely good guy who fought cancer for a long time and somehow managed to survive numerous “you only have ….. to live” statements from doctors and experts. He took everything with amazing courage and dignity and you couldn't help but be impressed with Steve’s attitude to it all. He served with myself and JY on the Thames Valley Pool Committee for a few years and also played in a number of teams with myself, Kevin, James Harness, Brad and Lee. This included the Berkshire county side and teams in the Slough and Windsor leagues.
In the late 80's and early 90's Steve, Kevin, Scott Yardley, James and Stuart Harness, Neil Dodds, Bobby Nicholas, myself (and a few others that I’m sure I’ve missed out on) [Phil Reeves & Jason Brown spring to mind – KS) were playing together in Windsor. We all played for Robert Uzzell’s Willow Wanderers team, and as a rule each night we were first into every venue and always the last to leave - home or away. We were a loud and raucous side but in a fun way. We spent the evenings drinking, laughing at stupid jokes and ‘bundling’ people on the sofa at the Willows Caravan Park. “Splatty” (so called because of the unfortunate way the pool cards were written out at the time – S. Platt) was always the straight man of the operation and the quietest.
At Willows they ran bingo for the pensioners in the main room next to the pool area. Whenever we got a bit too loud and were being told off by Gordon the owner, someone would always turn to Steve and shout “Splatty keep the noise down!!” so he would get the blame. Steve would just sit there with a ‘not impressed’ look on his face while we carried on. It was the running joke of the seasons that we would blame him for the chaos going on.
I’m not properly qualified to talk about the long and painful fight Steve had with cancer, or how happy he was to get married and move out to Spain so I will put up a couple of stories that I’m always reminded off when I think of him. I hope anyone reading this who knew him will appreciate it. If I had to describe him, he was a Sid Little look-a-like with a love of the horses, a few beers and a game of pool.
Once when he was in hospital I heard that to keep himself busy and his mind active, he ran a book on who in the ward would be next ‘to go’. He had himself at 8-1 until one day the doctors told him that they had found another tumour. I think it was Stuart Harness I spoke to when I said “How’s Steve doing?” and Stuart replied, “not great, he has just chopped himself down to even money favourite!”
One night in the Willows after the match had finished, Steve played Kevin and the rule was that you had to double the black in. The black ended up right over a corner pocket and so the rule changed so that you had to bounce the white off at least two cushions before potting it. While Kevin’s efforts were reasonably close, Steve’s were terrible. He would spend a minute or so lining something up, hit the cue ball and watch it do laps of the table not getting anywhere near the 8-ball. Kevin and I were laughing at every attempt, mostly because we knew Steve was no good at this so you could always beat him. Finally he lined up a four cushion special declaring ‘watch this’ and thundered the white off one cushion and straight into the pocket furthest from the black. Kevin fell on the floor laughing and Steve was furious at us for laughing and stormed out. He came back in sometime later and all was forgiven. From then on we always referred to an attempted escape to pot a ball that goes horribly wrong as a Stevie Platt. We still do it even now.
The third memory was being in Roberts car going to a county game. Steve was doing the crossword and had finished it. Robert picked the newspaper up and said “Steve you've missed one. 36 across -‘Tired Postman.’”
‘Tired postman?’ says Steve and begins to think…… after about two minutes he says:
‘How many letters?’
‘THOUSANDS’ says Rob ‘THAT'S WHY HE’S SO TIRED!!!’
Everyone cracked up. Everyone except Steve, who just looked at us all in despair before managing a big grin just wide enough to show the few teeth that remained in his mouth. I laughed so much at the whole situation I was in tears.
That was Steve, the straight and steady, well respected member of the group that helped make it all fit together. He was a truly great guy and I cant begin to imagine the courage it must have took him to fight that illness through all those years of treatment and hospitals.
If there is a heaven then he is definitely there, but one piece of advice Steve – ‘keep the noise down’
Keith Walls
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Week 8 Captains report - Home versus NMCC
Patience is a virtue…or lessons in spotting the lesser-spotted Robinson
Week eight rolls around, and with it come some monumental changes. Firstly we were handicapped by the absence of Coach Walls for what would be our final home game of the season versus NMCC. Opinion was sharply divided as to whether this is, in fact, a handicap – the “yes” vote took it, swayed by the fact that someone else would have to pay for the sandwiches i.e. me.
The second change was that we would not be scrambling around for players. The recruitment drive initiated by my understudy to the role of vice-under-committee-sub-uber-budg-captain Lee “grinder” Greenwood had borne fruit. Earlier in the week he confirmed the recruitment of two of Thames Valley’s finest, Messrs Dave “Junior” Greenwood and Ben “Kylie” Keighly-Kiely, one of the famous Kailee brothers.
Six players and I was cock-a-hoop. We were playing against NMCC, whom avid readers will remember as the team we played against with four players and still managed to scrape a 7-5 victory…
“How many players have you got this week!?” asked the away vice-captain.
“We have six this time, but can I leave sixth place blank as we have another player on the way?”
He looks around at our team…
“Of course, no worries. At least we don’t have to play against the man, the legend Brad Robinson!!”
Ahem…
Six players available meant didn’t even need Brad…which was ironic, because it was this week of weeks that he had choosen to make his first appearance of the season.
So our opponents relief at not having to go toe-to-toe with Brad was short lived as I revealed that actually, the player we were waiting on was Mr Robinson!
The place – racks bar
The time – 7:59PM
The decision – who goes first
Having made the decision to drop John Young in favour of Mr Robinson, I needed a leadoff man. JY had played with Junior Greenwood before and assured me he was as good-a first place player as anyone, so in he went.
He proceeded to play like a man on the payroll of a Chinese betting syndicate. It was the kind of frame where afterwards you struggle to convince your teammates that you were actually trying to win the game. Unfortunately Stefan, Dave’s opponent, realised too late that the Nobel prize for pool philanthropy was canned years ago, and when he went in off for the second time in the frame Dave was left with a dot-to-dot finish he polished off. 1-0.
I was up next, and continued the riding luck theme. I debuted my new break off by throwing the white off the table and into the ladies toilets. Luckily Ray, one of three Dawsons in the opposition, couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo for the first five shots and I thought I was in for an easy ride. Then somebody flicked his switch, and a new ray Dawson appeared, one who couldn’t miss a fly’s arse twitch in a headwind at 200 yards! Needless to say I didn’t like the new Dawson as he proceeded to clear up. Luckily for me he got the last ball blues and let me in at my final red and a thin snick on the black. Nice finish for 2-0.
Third place Ben made a mockery of two of my statements from earlier that evening – firstly that he was any good and secondly that Dave and I had used up all our luck in the first two frames. His opponent left a half ball cut on the black that he stunned-in instead of rolling and promptly went in-off. 3-0.
Neil played his usual solid game and frankly it was a relief to see someone win without having to rely on an in-off. 4-0
Lee was up fifth, and made an interminable game 20 minutes longer than it should have been by pinning the black so close to his final red over the bag that he had to start potting his opponents balls before he got a chance at his own. Jim wasn’t having it and potted the red when trying to free the black. 5-0.
Then finally came Brad’s debut game of the season. I would say it was worth the wait but that would be a lie. However he didn’t really break a sweat to win his game. 6-0.
So 6-0 looks convincing on paper, but with a bit more luck (and I am writing this knowing our opposition are reading this at some point) it could easily have been 3-3.
Second half was a bit of a damp squib. Ben secured the win (7-0) and after that the only interest remaining was the sandwiches. Once Brad made a meal of them (literally – no one else had any) Dave went on and gave NMCC a deserved frame on the board. 7-1.
JY returned to the fold in position nine and returned with an instantly forgettable win. 8-1.
I played my winter league teammate Jim “pretty-boy” Floyd and secured my second frame of the evening with a lovely little finish. Sweet! 9-1
Frames eleven and twelve were the most interesting of the evening. Brad was up in eleventh spot and played like we were 9-1 up and half the team had disappeared. His opponent got to the black while Brad was still wondering which end of the cue to chalk. By his fourth attempt at potting it his teammates had realised that he had a chance of making NMCC history. He showed plenty of nerve but no nerves at all to not only win the game but also do it in style and double the black in. Cue much applause from his teammates and a new photo on the wall next to the table at NMCC. 9-2.
The magic was up last, and one again showed that not only does he deserve his nickname, but also he is one of the best last frame players around.
With the black in the middle of the “d” cushion, the white in the jaws of one of the d-end pockets and his final red over the opposite corner I was convinced a shot of touch and finesse was required. Neil was convinced otherwise and showed perfect cueing and amazing cue-power to pot the red and screw the entire length of the table to leave him perfect on the black. A fantastic shot that deserved a bigger audience. It would be an insult to call it pointless, so I shall award it vice-under-committee-sub-uber-budg-captain “not pointless” flair shot of the week. 10-2.
Two more games to go, but no Keith next week. Subject to a league update by the committee I believe we have secured the league title and can start looking forward to the quarter finals.
K&K.
Week eight rolls around, and with it come some monumental changes. Firstly we were handicapped by the absence of Coach Walls for what would be our final home game of the season versus NMCC. Opinion was sharply divided as to whether this is, in fact, a handicap – the “yes” vote took it, swayed by the fact that someone else would have to pay for the sandwiches i.e. me.
The second change was that we would not be scrambling around for players. The recruitment drive initiated by my understudy to the role of vice-under-committee-sub-uber-budg-captain Lee “grinder” Greenwood had borne fruit. Earlier in the week he confirmed the recruitment of two of Thames Valley’s finest, Messrs Dave “Junior” Greenwood and Ben “Kylie” Keighly-Kiely, one of the famous Kailee brothers.
Six players and I was cock-a-hoop. We were playing against NMCC, whom avid readers will remember as the team we played against with four players and still managed to scrape a 7-5 victory…
“How many players have you got this week!?” asked the away vice-captain.
“We have six this time, but can I leave sixth place blank as we have another player on the way?”
He looks around at our team…
“Of course, no worries. At least we don’t have to play against the man, the legend Brad Robinson!!”
Ahem…
Six players available meant didn’t even need Brad…which was ironic, because it was this week of weeks that he had choosen to make his first appearance of the season.
So our opponents relief at not having to go toe-to-toe with Brad was short lived as I revealed that actually, the player we were waiting on was Mr Robinson!
The place – racks bar
The time – 7:59PM
The decision – who goes first
Having made the decision to drop John Young in favour of Mr Robinson, I needed a leadoff man. JY had played with Junior Greenwood before and assured me he was as good-a first place player as anyone, so in he went.
He proceeded to play like a man on the payroll of a Chinese betting syndicate. It was the kind of frame where afterwards you struggle to convince your teammates that you were actually trying to win the game. Unfortunately Stefan, Dave’s opponent, realised too late that the Nobel prize for pool philanthropy was canned years ago, and when he went in off for the second time in the frame Dave was left with a dot-to-dot finish he polished off. 1-0.
I was up next, and continued the riding luck theme. I debuted my new break off by throwing the white off the table and into the ladies toilets. Luckily Ray, one of three Dawsons in the opposition, couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo for the first five shots and I thought I was in for an easy ride. Then somebody flicked his switch, and a new ray Dawson appeared, one who couldn’t miss a fly’s arse twitch in a headwind at 200 yards! Needless to say I didn’t like the new Dawson as he proceeded to clear up. Luckily for me he got the last ball blues and let me in at my final red and a thin snick on the black. Nice finish for 2-0.
Third place Ben made a mockery of two of my statements from earlier that evening – firstly that he was any good and secondly that Dave and I had used up all our luck in the first two frames. His opponent left a half ball cut on the black that he stunned-in instead of rolling and promptly went in-off. 3-0.
Neil played his usual solid game and frankly it was a relief to see someone win without having to rely on an in-off. 4-0
Lee was up fifth, and made an interminable game 20 minutes longer than it should have been by pinning the black so close to his final red over the bag that he had to start potting his opponents balls before he got a chance at his own. Jim wasn’t having it and potted the red when trying to free the black. 5-0.
Then finally came Brad’s debut game of the season. I would say it was worth the wait but that would be a lie. However he didn’t really break a sweat to win his game. 6-0.
So 6-0 looks convincing on paper, but with a bit more luck (and I am writing this knowing our opposition are reading this at some point) it could easily have been 3-3.
Second half was a bit of a damp squib. Ben secured the win (7-0) and after that the only interest remaining was the sandwiches. Once Brad made a meal of them (literally – no one else had any) Dave went on and gave NMCC a deserved frame on the board. 7-1.
JY returned to the fold in position nine and returned with an instantly forgettable win. 8-1.
I played my winter league teammate Jim “pretty-boy” Floyd and secured my second frame of the evening with a lovely little finish. Sweet! 9-1
Frames eleven and twelve were the most interesting of the evening. Brad was up in eleventh spot and played like we were 9-1 up and half the team had disappeared. His opponent got to the black while Brad was still wondering which end of the cue to chalk. By his fourth attempt at potting it his teammates had realised that he had a chance of making NMCC history. He showed plenty of nerve but no nerves at all to not only win the game but also do it in style and double the black in. Cue much applause from his teammates and a new photo on the wall next to the table at NMCC. 9-2.
The magic was up last, and one again showed that not only does he deserve his nickname, but also he is one of the best last frame players around.
With the black in the middle of the “d” cushion, the white in the jaws of one of the d-end pockets and his final red over the opposite corner I was convinced a shot of touch and finesse was required. Neil was convinced otherwise and showed perfect cueing and amazing cue-power to pot the red and screw the entire length of the table to leave him perfect on the black. A fantastic shot that deserved a bigger audience. It would be an insult to call it pointless, so I shall award it vice-under-committee-sub-uber-budg-captain “not pointless” flair shot of the week. 10-2.
Two more games to go, but no Keith next week. Subject to a league update by the committee I believe we have secured the league title and can start looking forward to the quarter finals.
K&K.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)