Captains Report - Weeks 9 & 10

*Captain’s Report Special*

The facts man, just the facts.

With two weeks left of the league season, we were assured of our place in the quarter finals by virtue of our win in week 8. With the words (along the lines of the previous sentence) of Coach Walls ringing in my ears, I did a quick head count for our penultimate game of the season, and worked out that I could gather five players quite easily – Me, JY, Magic, Lee G & Ben.

With Dave G moving house, and James Harness away on holiday I needed a sixth player – or did I? With our fate as league winners sealed I took a management decision to not bother recruiting a sixth player.

So it was with five men good and true that the Racks Pack convoy left Maidenhead for their Monday night date with The Golden Cross, Twyford.

Ahhhh the Golden Cross Twyford. The names conjures up images of a sleepy pub in a sleepy Berkshire town. Umbrellas in the garden, doddery old gits sitting in the corner of the pub chewing on the gravy, and the kind of smoky atmosphere you could cut through with a knife.

All that would be blasted to crap – literally – when we walked through the door to the pool room. Confronted by a 5 x 3 pool table in a 5.5 x 3.5 room, above it playing music so loud that my ears started bleeding, and a team of people vogueing or something similar, the only thing in danger of being cut through was my ear drum.

Surely they would turn it down? No. If anything it got louder. Worse than the actual volume, was that the speaker itself looked like it had come from a Fisher Price disco set it was so small – meaning that it wasn’t loud, clear music coming through, it was loud but completely distorted.

Anyway we ploughed on regardless, knowing that we were through anyway. Wrong!! After a brief shout with their captain I found out that both teams had lost only one game, and our one draw compared to their two was the only thing separating us from them.

I would love to tell you how, once again, we overcame the odds and battered them into submission but I can’t. We lost.

I knew we were in trouble when, at the bar, I asked the barman for a coke and he looked around as if he was gonna ask me to see him out the back in five minutes and he would see what he would do. I assured him I was after the kind that came with ice.

It was the kind of night where never really looked like winning, but not because we were playing badly but because we never had a single run of the balls. Particularly unlucky was JY and Ben Kiely. Twice he got to the black only to find himself on the cushion and cueing against the wall. 0-0 double doughnut.

JY had his game by the scruff when he snookered his opponent in his red behind his own final ball black. He not only got out of the snooker, but trebled the red in the corner leaving him perfect on the black.

I was the only player to win two that night and in the end we lost 7-5. I continued my good form and won twice, but with Neil, Lee & JY losing one each it wasn’t enough. Their captain accused me of being a good player! Well, I always kinda liked him!

So to the final games of the season, and with me ruling out a Golden Cross 12-0 victory against Grenfell Arms, a draw was required to get us to the knockout stages.

Once again Lee pulled out all the stops and bought Ben, Dave G AND Kailash Kohli ensuring that, for only the second time this season , the Captain had a decision to make (who to drop).

Things started well enough, with JY winning his first game, and with me on next surely we weren’t at home to Mr cock-up? Well potentially yes, as I played like a man with no thumbs. 1-1

Ben Kiely was up next attempting to prove that it is not humanly possible for one man to be unlucky in five straight games. Nice try Ben.1-2

It was time to put a spurt on; to make sure weren’t scrambling to get the draw in the last few games. Cue Dave Greenwood. Dave is from the school of pool that say keep it simple and pot as many balls as you can. No fancy stuff. He broke, matey boy had one shot, Dave cleared up. Nice one.

At 2-2 I was starting to get a bit more relaxed when I realised my two favourite players for knuckling down at the rear end (of a game that is) were up next – Neil & Lee. In fairness to their opponents, neither of them were ever in trouble. As regular Rackspack readers will know Lee can play these rules better then anyone, and played the non flair shot of the week to pin the black against his own red over the bag. His bum wobbled a bit when his opponent played a shot that relied completely to luck (smashin his balls around) and amazingly they all fell perfect for the clearance, but Captain Budg’s orders were clear and he duly obeyed. 2-4.

Second held was a similar story to the first. After Lee got his W-W for the night (2-5) Ben fell on his cue and allowed Kailash to have a game instead. Well a visit anyway – after which his opponent the dish in record time. 3-5.

After Dave lost (4-5) my bum was starting to wobble, especially when I realised I was up next. However after I attempted the “fairy” (hands that do dishes…) my oppo laid me in several snookers I kept getting out of. After some fudge and some budg, it was left to him to miss an easy black and leave it over the bag for me. No double-doughnut here. 4-6.

No we could relax, we had the draw. I knew John was relaxed when had the temerity to complain about having to play a woman. He overcame his opponent, as did Neil (winning pointless flair shot of the week for doubling-in the black in a match we had already won) and the final result (4-8) showed that in the final analysis we had overcome this potential banana skin quite easily.

Next stop, quarter finals.