Semi Final Report

Match Report Special AKA The Damp Squib Match

After a fantastic quarter final win we were all looking a potentially classic semi final, replete with great shots, dramatic action and a cliff-hanging climax. Much to our disappointment our season sunk into a sea of mediocrity on Monday night.

What a rubbish match! What an anti climax!

You know when SKY hype up “Grand Slam Sunday” and you sit down telling yourself that this is going to be great…then 20 minutes into Man United/Arsenal v Chelsea/Liverpool, you realise you’ve been duped as you think to yourself “this is the most boring match I have seen, what utter dirge”.

Well, that pretty much sums up our semi with BAPL on Monday. It was crap, virtually from start to finish, utter utter crap.

We lost 7-4 and to be honest I don’t think anyone really cared. The atmosphere was dead, the passion non existent and the only time we perked up was when Deano, Jez and the rest of the Forresters team turned up to see who would be beating them in next weeks final.

We should have suspected something wasn’t right when the first song on the jukebox when we arrived at the Forresters was Alvin and the Chipmunks! The whole night was just terribly wrong. It was like being a teenager invited for a personal tour of Michael Jackson’s ranch – you know you should feel excited about it but deep down you know that something’s not right.

The only decent clearance in eleven frames was Sean Watson’s and that was with two shots and ball in hand on a relatively simple finish. The rest of us - on both sides - never managed put four pots together.

Every one of us fouled at least once in our frames, whether it be stupid in-offs, bad luck, not nominating a total snooker, not hitting a cushion or touching a ball with the cue. It a jolly poor show.

And yet things had started really well. The Slugger good us oof on the good foot by knocking in a nice finish (after getting two) against Mick Worsfield, but really Mick should have won it when he had two shots himself and missed a cut on the black by a country mile. 1-0

The Wonder broke in the next, potted a yellow but left himself tied up and only a red ball on. Nominating reds he knocked it in, but the white flicked off another ball and into the middle. Sean took out the simple finish with his two shots and we were level. 1-1

Magic lost the next when he snookered himself on his last ball and failed to get out of it, and another two shots given away by us and led to 2-1 down.

The Bear fouled in the fourth, and the BAPL player cleared up to his last ball, inexplicably screwing the bal into the middle pocket after potting it. The Bear put the rest away. It was 2-2, and a we were still in it.

Lee battled through his frame with Spike. He tried to bounce out his difficult yellow but the white went up and down the table after clipping another ball and shot into the corner to give Spike two shots and the frame. 2-3

Coach made it 3-3 at the break but only through bad play from his opponent. Coach had only just managed to hit the cushion trying to slow roll a pot to the corner. His opponent then gave away two shots and he duly cleared up. Six of the worst frames you are likely to see, and it was still all to play for.

At this point at least one team should have stepped-up and showed what they were capable of but it just got worse. Wonder lost his second when leaving a foul snooker against Sean. His only saving grace was that he had also left it so that Sean’s yellow wouldn’t go into the corner past his red, but in knocking it past the red trying to set it up, it curled round the red on the wonky table and dropped in. 3-4

In the next Bradley made a total “Cameron” (school-boy error) and forgot to call a total snooker and rolled into his ball, giving away yet another two shots, and with it the frame. 3-5

Coach pulled one back in another awful frame, this time against Matt Gouriet. Coach had two shots with one ball and the black but managed to screw up the positioning and called for a total snooker on the 8ball. As he was playing it ‘Wonder’ (who was reffing) stopped him mid shot to point out that actually he could see a clear edge of the black, and it wasn’t a total snooker! Coach then easily clipped it out of the bunch and potted it for 5-4!!! Why he asked for the total in the first place was anyone’s guess- it was just that kind of night.

It looked for a moment as if the comeback was on, but it wasn’t to be, and at crucial times we had no run of the ball when we really needed it.

Slugger put in the only good frame of the night on behalf of the Racks Pack, and left an excellent snooker behind the black after freeing his last ball. Coach Shiel called it shot of the night, but if any snooker was too good it was this one. Rather than leaving a once across the table escape, the white was so close to the black his oppo had to attempt as escape off three cushions. He skimmed one that he wasn’t aiming for, and left the white just off the top cushion and giving some awkward cueing. It needed a dead weight roll and the table wasn’t going to oblige as the white bent off and Slugger missed the pot. It cost us the frame. Ironically if the original snooker hadn’t been so good he would have probably had an easier shot whether or not his opponent escaped from the snooker. 4-6

Magic was in for the Racks Pack to save the match, and in a frame where the shots went from good to bad and back again, neither player seemed to be able to give it away. It came down to Magic potting an excellent yellow and having to take on a thin cut black into the centre. The pot missed, Chris Tate (I think) laid up the snooker and in line with our previous frames Magic missed and we gave away another two shots. Chris took out his last two balls and brought our season to an end. He summed it up perfectly when he said to Neil at the end “I was just hoping you would pot the black and put me out of my misery – I was awful”.

That sentence covered the entire match for me – it was utterly dreadful.

So the season goes out with a whimper rather than a bang. I would have preferred to have been thrashed to be honest, or perhaps go out on a deciding frame – at least in a way that we would have had some excitement. Considering the amount of county and other quality players on show it was the worst match I’ve been involved in for a long time. Lord only knows what time the match would finally have finished if it had gone all the away – as it was we finished at 12:15. Eleven frames in four hours tells you how scrappy it was.

On a personal note, this season has been another barrel of laughs. After his walkout at the Thatched Cottage we never saw JY again, although we did get a few phone calls from him to see if he was needed. Kev fell for one of Andy Brants “tap on the shoulder” specials – always amusing [in a childish and total juvenile way – ED]. In the end the Golden Cross debacle didn’t make any difference to the course of the season, and it’s Bracknell who will go on to the seasons finale against the Forresters after Dean’s team of reprobates comprehensively beat the Racks Maniacs.

Some of us will be in Yarmouth this weekend for the Champion of Champions matches. It’s a good turnout from the local area with Lee’s Lady Haig team, Rob Uzzell’s Windsor side joining The Irish Club and a team from Marlow. In truth if any of us get through to the second knockout stage on the Sunday it will be an achievement. Coach, the Bear, Vic, Magic and myself are in a 4 man qualifier for the Hainsworth event that Rileys are running and that might be fruitful given the entry criteria they are using.

With various Winter Leagues fast approaching it’s nearly time to wrap up the blog, put it in a warm box with three carrots and handful of straw and allow it to hibernate for another year as the Racks pack team members go their separate ways. Keep your browsers here for a little while longer though, as Creative Director Walls and Editor-In-Chief Southam present their highlights of the season, and THE highlight of any season - The Rackspack Awards 2008, sponsored by Rackspack.blogspot.com.

Don’t forget the deadline for sponsorship of the award ceremony has been extended by one more week, and there are a number of Gold, Silver and Bronze packages available. So if you want to join us on a VIP ladies night out and be associated with these prestigious awards, then contact us at Rackspack@hotmail.co.uk

While Kevin tries to figure out some way for him to finish top of the averages, and we prepare for the awards, we present some other great sporting failures:

http://failblog.org/2008/11/03/wrestling-fail-2/

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds0wEBKuxv8


Happy cueing,

K&K