RACKSPACK AWARDS 2009

So as the season draws to a close it's time for the most eagerly anticipated night of the year, the Rackspack awards. At this years star studded gala event there were tears, laughter, more tears and lots of hearty handshakes and hugs as we celebrated the season that initially promised so much but ultimatly left us without the big prize.

As a special end-of-season treat for all our loyal fans out there in webland we've dug out this exclusive footage of life at Rackspack Towers. Click on the link below to see just what a well run operation RACKSPACK PLC is.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXDC56ERO4Q

So without further ado here are the highs and lows of the season, some serious and some not so serious. The Rackspack awards 2009.

The Wish You Were Here Award

The nominees are Lee Greenwood, Ben Kiely. Gents, you didn't play all season. In our book that means you didn't lose a game. You're both winners.

The Peaked Too Early Award.

Keith Walls - who broke and dished first frame of the season and never did it again. Shortly afterwards the Showboat jackpot was born.

The “It's good to talk but sometimes it's better to shut the heck up” award

Awarded for the least helpful phone call of the season and goes to John Young. John saw Neil's car heading in the wrong direction while we were at White Waltham Social Club, so he rang Neil and told him to turn round and drive back in the other direction. Twenty minutes later we realised that it wasn’t Neil's car after all.

The Text Of The Season Award

Nominees are:

Kevin Southam for “Brads got dished by steve cox!” to Keith

Brad Robinson for “HONK HONK!“ to Neil Cameron, who was missing only his second game in three years and got this to tell him that Brad had taken the first showboat in his absence.

Craig Wilson for “I'm on the way“ sent shortly before he failed to turn up for his first appearance of the season.

No danger here as the most hated man in pool just adds to his growing reputation by texting Neil the HONK HONK - 'oribble man.

The Double Doughnut Of The Season Award
in association with Krispy Kreme – make mine a double – and Hovis – only the best bagels for your table.

The nominations are:

John Shiel v North Maidenhead Cricket Club

John Shiel v The Pond House

Neil Cameron v WAMSAD

The winner is...John Shiel v The Pond House. Not only was it a double doughnut, but it had the unique twist that he managed to lose twice to the same player - Rob Sparks. John wins a lifetime supply of doughnuts and bagels courtesy of our proud sponsors.

The Prince Phillip “you really shouldn’t have said that” special award for the most ill-advised statement of the year.

John Shiel for “just wait and see how many clearances I have this season”

Keith Walls for “Don’t worry there's 3 more after I lose this one.”

Kevin Southam for “Pick a number between 1 and 6” “5” “that’s me!”

Brad Robinson for “He’s never getting on that red from here”

A tough one. John's statement is obviously a classic, but in a close run thing between Keith's announcement at 6-2 up in the semi as he was about to play, and Brad's keen observation while Giles was dishing him up – it's going to Keith.

The Bum-drop Award

Awarded to those special players who cracked under the intense pressure of the showboat. The nominees are:

Neil Cameron – as he dambuster'd his white ball down the cushion trying to pot his last yellow

John Young - hits the jaw with black to the middle for £22

Keith - for forgetting to nominate a colour with the clearance at his mercy at NMCC

No contest. Despite the difficulty of the pot, JY's black that looked in all the way takes it. The tense build up, the change of mind at least three times on the shot, the fact it looked in and just clipped the knuckle - it had everything.

The “I Own You Rackspack Monkeys” award

All worthy winners - these are the players who regularly beat us up during the season.

Rob Sparks - Pond House

Steve Cox - The Bear ( who also dished up Brad)

Giles Denny - The Bear (who was another to dish up Brad, and was the only non-racks player to have benefited from the showboat to the tune of £1)

Tracy Harmon - The Pond House

The “Steven Seagal/Jennifer Anniston award” to the worst bit of acting by the team this summer. The joint winners are:

The team pretending to commiserate with Keith as he puts in the clearance of the season, only to free the black from his last potted red and watch it double into the middle. He not only blows the showboat but also loses the only remaining unbeaten record in the team.

At NMCC, Brad breaks and dishes to win the £2 Showboat Jackpot and everyone cheers and celebrates like we won the cup as Kevin had pocketed the £25 showboat jackpot two frames earlier.

Giles dishes up Brad with an astonishing combination of potting and good luck. We all try to tell Brad how unlucky he was while punching the air behind his back and laughing.

Showboat Clearance Of The Season

Kevin v The Pond House

Kevin v NMCC

Brad v The Pond House

Brad v NMCC

Without doubt the outstanding clearance was Kevin's against the Pond House. Having snookered himself on the final ball he managed to not only get out of the snooker but pot it and land perfect on the black - the epitomy of a Showboat finish.

Finally to complete the ceremony it's traditional to present the Honeypot loyalty club award for the most regular visitor of the season to the pot. However I can confirm that no one from the Rackspack team, staff, or affiliates visited the HP season at all not once. Ahem.

So that's it for another season. Congratulations to HEINZ 57 for winning the cup, and here's to next season when surely, and not before time, The Rackspack claim the prize that is rightfully theirs. Will they be together next season? Who will be captain? Does anyone care? All the questions and more will be answered right here so keep your tips sharp, your suits sharper, and your mouse pointed at rackspack.blogspot.com.

Until next summer, happy cueing.

K&K