WARNING
In the following report you may come across the expression “work commitments”. We at RacksPack towers do not condone this type of language, and would not seek to encourage its use, however in the context of a pathetic excuse for not turning up to a pool match, we believe its use it entirely justified.
We apologise for any offence caused, thank you.
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I don’t know, you miss the opening match due to work commitments and what happens? The blog goes to heck in a hand basket in the first week. Our glorious re-entry to this balmy summer’s sporting calendar was temporarily stalled as our Commander in Chief summed up our first weeks match with the expression “well nothing happened worth writing about”.
Nothing happened! Nothing happened!! I miss the match, and we give up two frames yet still manage to run out 10-2 winners and nothing happened?
Call it laziness, call it shoddy journalism, call it Mr Vain, call it Mr wrong, call it insane, I know what I want and I want it now,…wait a minute, who sung that?
Anyway after another week of “where’s the report”, “who’s doing the report” and “why aren’t you doing the report now” we decided that we owed it to our many fans around the globe to bring out something special this week.
Ladies and Gents, hold onto your chalk…
IT’S RACKSPACK TV !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forget Pay-Per-View, 3D, HD and even VD, if you want to catch something really interesting then the only ticket this summer is the one that get you into RacksPack TV. Yes, that’s right – thank to the power of the interweb, a cheap web cam and a laptop your weekly dose of RacksPack flair will be coming to a living room (or in Andy and Rays case, a bedroom) near you. From now on (or until Kev and I get bored or fed up of wasting time on it), we will be recording the best and worst moments from the Monday night Pack-fest for your viewing pleasure and, assuming that we are not still under threat of libel action from the old Hitler video from last summer, we should be able to post up the fruits of our labours on You Tube.
Let’s not forget that we are going to be playing at North Maidenhead Cricket Club this season. Personally I’ve never been a fan of cricket. I can’t think of many things more tedious and boring than being sat down for hours on end watching a bunch of uncoordinated 30-somethings wildly swinging a piece of wood around trying to hit a few balls in between drinks.
Ahem.
Anyway onto this weeks match…
Week Two match report – home versus Golden Crooked Cross Billet “B”
(Filmed in glorious Rackspack-o-vision!)
Our first home match of the season, a roll-over in the Showboat (no one had taken it out in the opening match), a web-cam, a laptop, the best table in the league and no Brad in sight – yep, things were looking good as I made the half a mile trip from the entrance to North Maidenhead Cricket Club to the front door of North Maidenhead Cricket Club.
Kev had made the draw to see who would have first crack at the £12 Showboat jackpot, and organised the football card which was paid up by the teams and won by Dave the landlord! With John Shiel and Brad on holiday it was Kev, Keith, Neil, Rob, Pat and JY thrust into the thick of the action.
First into the action was Rob Walsh who went from looking in trouble to showing just why we have brought in this flair maestro with an outstanding double on the black all now captured by our web cam 1-0
Regrettably I’d forgotten to bring the battery pack for the laptop, so after capturing the glorious opening frame the laptop was on borrowed time. Pat was up second, and in all honesty this was the last bit of news it needed. In fairness to the laptop by the time his frame finished we were all drained ourselves as “The Fudge” ground out the win.
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| Some fudge yesterday |
The seasonal debut of The Wonder Walls ended in victory before speeding off to get the charger, with Coach Southam pointing out that “apart from giving up two frames in week one due to the lack of Walls” we hadn’t lost a frame! 3-0
Wins for Coach Southam and Neil quickly followed, and our 100% record was intact at 5-0.
Step forward John Young who powered home the black a few balls too early and wiped that out in no time. 5-1 at the break, and cue the best clearance of the night as Neil took out the five sausages on his plate in double-quick time.
With the match all but in the bag attention now turned to the £18 Showboat, and trying to look good on RacksPack TV. JY had a half chance to bag the contents of Justina, the Showboat piggy bank, but managed to claim Pointless Flair Shot of the Week with a textbook double on the black. It was clearly no consolation though as he ambled over to the table, head down, shoulders sagging, a tear in his eye. We were witnessing the onset of an unfortunate and terrifying new medical condition…PSD – Post Showboat Depression. The symptoms are easy to spot. First you blow your chance at the pot and know that you don’t have any more tries until next week. Second, you sit for 5 minutes watching the next frame willing the opposing player on to stop the next person from getting it. Finally you take your cue and clear off home because you cant be bothered to watch any more pool now that your showboat hopes are dashed for another week. PSD – its sweeping through our team like wildfire. JY was out the door in a shot having potted two blacks and only one win. 6-1
Our interest was rekindled when “Magic” Cameron stepped up with what looked like a real “hope of the boat”. We had debated whether breaking is really the best way to win it as you only get one visit to grab the cash. Is it better to have your opponent break, take a few out and leave you with a clearer table? This was certainly the case as Tony Baxter broke, potted a few and then left Neil with the big chance that he craved…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yimosvV0AOM
We won the last few frames and Rob managed to double yet another black for two wins on the night and two doubles to go with it. If I was smart enough I would think of a clever phrase for doing just that but its 3.15 in the morning so I can’t.
So the match was wrapped up at 11-1 and the only frames we have lost in two weeks are two forfeits and JY's unfortunate black. I’m telling you this is our year!!!
Next Monday we are away to the Anchor, and it could be a tricky week for the Showboat on that table but no doubt Brad will be there by 4.30 in the afternoon sneaking in as much practise as possible. The Most Hated Man in Pool makes his seasonal debut (along with John “Hokey Cokey” Shiel) and everything’s primed for one his horrible moments. The Anchor’s only round the corner from the Honeypot so expect John Shiel to be there by Sunday night.
We’ll leave you in the capable hands of RacksPack TV as we present our shots of the week..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySk9wILoVHM
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