Week 3 - Report & Table

The assassination of Kennedy. Live Aid. Events that perhaps would not be fully appreciated until the passage of time revealed their true significance. In twenty years will you remember where you were when Neil Cameron debuted for the Racks Pack? Twenty minutes?

Rejoice fellow sports fans - once again we have the pleasure of a Captains report from Mr Keith Walls.

Captains Report

When in off is in off!

"After being the only loser in the first week the captain had to sort his game out. He had been playing worse than a 3-string guitar. The 'bye' week off allowed him some practice with Neil 'the newcomer' and he had his sights set on a surprise appearance at the Berkshire open last Sunday.
It sounded like the perfect way to get back that competitive edge that had suddenly upped sticks, took the last of the housekeeping money and moved to open a cantina in Mexico. Looking to his team mates for help I asked Brad about the competition , "was it tough?" "am I out of my depth?" "would it be good for me just to go and spend the day at the tables?" After him telling me for the fifth time not to bother I decided to seek a second opinion so I texted Andy Brant from the my Thursday night Irish Club team.

"Andy, what time does the Berkshire Open start tomorrow - I was thinking of entering"

Two minutes later and the beeping of the second opinion arrived : (this is exactly as it read)

"Aint got a clue m8, prob wont start till bout 12 I wod of fort but don't waste ur money m8, u R poo"

Terrific.

So the cue went back into the cupboard and only saw daylight Monday night as we took on the toughest of the teams in our section - the Thatched Cottage.

Brad was awol in London and Lee was still sunning himself abroad so we had the bare six. The thought of the captain playing twice was a devastating blow to the Racks Pack morale but despite this he made the bold move of going first.

Five minutes later and eyeing up his last red it looked like another captaincy masterstroke as long as he avoided the obvious in-off to the middle. Mission accomplished- the captain's deep screw 'arc'd' the white into the top corner for 0-1.

Not to be outdone the team then tried to see who could produce the best in off of the night. JY went on next and it took him almost 13 attempts on the black before he managed to go in off and lose the frame. Eyeing up attempt number 13 on the black, he pulled a 'Babe Ruth' by pointing his cue at the middle pocket (where he thought the white might go). Luckily he was wrong (he missed the black on the way down, clipping it on the way back) but made amends later in the frame by sinking the white dead-weight in the middle for 0-2.

Kev got us off the mark (The captain will leave Kev to describe his frames) for 1-2.

Swanny lost for 1-3 and then Neil (who must have been wondering what the hell he had let himself in for, and was it too late to sign for someone else) hit an 'evil Knieval' jump shot for 1-4.

Tready restored some sanity to proceedings for 2-4 and then went back on straight away to show that he too enjoyed nothing better than giving two shots away. Rather than settle for an old-fashioned in off like the rest of us, he preferred the four ball plant that knocked his opponents red in from 3 feet. 2-5

The captain then defied the odds by actually winning one and potting a long black that used to be routine when he could play. Considering that you wouldn't trust him to put a space hopper into a skip, no one fancied him on the black, least of all himself- but somehow he got it. 3-5

JY made it 4-5 and we were almost back in it. But a loss from the Slugger was followed by yet another in off the black from Swanny. It was the absolute banker - a dead cert, stick on, empty the wheelbarrow, mortgage job in-off, and Swanny duly sent the punters home happy as he nailed it ! 4-7, and it was left to Neil 'the newcomer' to win the last for a 5-7 defeat.

To cap a great night for the captain, him and Neil went back to Racks for another beer and some more pool only to find that he still owed Racks five pounds from the earlier bar bill that he forgot to pay.

Next week our first home game of the season. They will be dancing in the streets of Maidenhead because the Captain is off for some high altitude training in Northern Ireland. He therefore passes on the baton of budge to the SluggerÂ…

THE CAPTAINS 'POINTLESS FLAIR' SHOT OF THE WEEK :
This week theawardd goes to Neil, who capped a decent debut by doubling the black to win his first career frame in the last frame of the night. Has anyone ever looked so downhearted after winning their first ever frame?"

Nice one Keith. My own games were, of course, a master-class in mediocrity. The first was solid enough, if perhaps uninspring. I only played one bad shot in the second frame (ironically potting a ball when trying to cover the pocket) but it cost me the game and the rest is history.

I am looking forward to taking over the reigns if only temporarily. A good result next week against the bottom team of the division should put us on course to qualify for the 'champions league'.

Week 3 RESULTS
24-Jul-06

Farmers B 5 Bell B 7
Thatch B 7 Racks Pack 5
WAMSDAD A [bye]

TABLE
Team (played) points

Thatch B (2) 23
Racks Pack (2) 19
Farmers Boy (3) 19
Bell B (3) 17
WAMSDAD A (2) 10

Results & Tables - Weeks 1 & 2

Week 1 Results
10-Jul-06

WAMDSAD A 3 Farmers Boy 9
Bell B 1 Racks Pack11
Thatch B [bye]

Week 2 Results
17-Jul-06

Bell B 6 WAMDSAD A 6
Farmers Boy 2 Thatch B 10
Racks Pack [bye]

Table - team (played) points

Racks Pack (1) 14
The Farmers Boy (2) 14
Thatch B (1) 13
WAMSDAD A (2) 10
Bell B (2) 8

The Racks Pack Unleashed

INTRODUCTION
by Kevin Southam



As someone who aspires to be budget, I know when someone is better than me. I see it all the time. Almost everywhere in fact.

The point I am trying to make is I know talent when I see it. There are certain players who deflate their opposition by their mere presence. Mr Brad 'side of a house' Robinson is one of those players, and it is a pleasure to welcome him to our newly formed team "The Racks Pack". Is he the final piece of the puzzle or is he just another piece of sky?

Add Brad's talents into the brew mentioned below and we have team capable of not just winning, but winning well every week. And so it begins...

CAPTAINS REPORT
by Mr Keith 'Duke Of Fluke' Walls

"The time for talking was over as The Racks Pack was finally unleashed on an unsuspecting and uninterested Maidenhead Pool League. Robinson, Greenwood, Tredwell, Swann, Southam and Walls - even the Ladbrokes biro was struggling to function properly just writing down the names of these behemoths of the baize!

Having put all the best 'breakers' in at positions 1, 3 and 5, the master stroke by the captain of losing the toss was just one of many selfless acts by yours truly - more on that later.

Unfortunately there were two pieces of bad news for 'the Pack'. Firstly JY didn't make it because he forgot we were even playing. [note from the editor - check with Keith if this was, in fact, bad news] Despite having seen him on Saturday and reminding him it obviously hadn't sunk in. Rather bizarrely it was JY who rang Treddy to tell him where and when we were playing. The second bit of bad news was that the captain was now forced to play twice.

Robinson was put out there to make a statement of intent - and did so. 1-0 became 6-0 at the break despite the opposition complaining we were too loud and getting in everyones way round the table.

Suddenly the pressure was on, who was going to be the first one to lose? In yet another masterstroke by the captain he cleverly placed himself last in the hope that someone messed up before he did. One by one the score went 7-0, 8-0, 9-0 and despite cheering on their opponents, Swanny and 'the Slugger' made it 11-0 - the Slugger taking out our gracious host Andi. The whitewash was now on!

But in a sacrifice not witnessed since Spock shut down the radiation leak in Star Trek 2, the captain threw the final frame. After fluking a treble on his first ball he was left with 6 reds assuming the 'gimme' position on the table. The clearance and 12-0 was on the cards. But a cleverly disguised drag shot which missed the pocket by the tiny amount of 14 cms left Mr C Grant with a chance to restore his teams honour.

Thirty seconds and four pots later it was all over.

11-1, the Bells honour restored, hearty handshakes all round. Will we ever see that sort of sportsmanship again? What a refreshing change from headbutting your opponent in the chest.

We faded off into the shadows. Some went home, some popped into Noctors and some reappeared in a big yellow building to give creative performance input to a "pukka lesbo act".

Next week it's a bye week and a chance for the Captain to get his finger out in the practice rooms - then the big clash with the Thatched Cottage."

THE CAPTAINS "YOU'RE NOT ON TELLY NOW POINTLESS FLAIR" SHOT OF THE WEEK:

This week it goes to the captain. Only marginally snookered behind the red at the bottom of the table and with the black close the opposite corner pocket, he played a non-required swerve round the ball, onto the side cushion and bouncing off just in time to skim the black and pot it.

Thanks to Keith for the report. No game next week so we'll see if we can continue this good form into our first home match of the season.

Slugger