The Racks Pack Unleashed

INTRODUCTION
by Kevin Southam



As someone who aspires to be budget, I know when someone is better than me. I see it all the time. Almost everywhere in fact.

The point I am trying to make is I know talent when I see it. There are certain players who deflate their opposition by their mere presence. Mr Brad 'side of a house' Robinson is one of those players, and it is a pleasure to welcome him to our newly formed team "The Racks Pack". Is he the final piece of the puzzle or is he just another piece of sky?

Add Brad's talents into the brew mentioned below and we have team capable of not just winning, but winning well every week. And so it begins...

CAPTAINS REPORT
by Mr Keith 'Duke Of Fluke' Walls

"The time for talking was over as The Racks Pack was finally unleashed on an unsuspecting and uninterested Maidenhead Pool League. Robinson, Greenwood, Tredwell, Swann, Southam and Walls - even the Ladbrokes biro was struggling to function properly just writing down the names of these behemoths of the baize!

Having put all the best 'breakers' in at positions 1, 3 and 5, the master stroke by the captain of losing the toss was just one of many selfless acts by yours truly - more on that later.

Unfortunately there were two pieces of bad news for 'the Pack'. Firstly JY didn't make it because he forgot we were even playing. [note from the editor - check with Keith if this was, in fact, bad news] Despite having seen him on Saturday and reminding him it obviously hadn't sunk in. Rather bizarrely it was JY who rang Treddy to tell him where and when we were playing. The second bit of bad news was that the captain was now forced to play twice.

Robinson was put out there to make a statement of intent - and did so. 1-0 became 6-0 at the break despite the opposition complaining we were too loud and getting in everyones way round the table.

Suddenly the pressure was on, who was going to be the first one to lose? In yet another masterstroke by the captain he cleverly placed himself last in the hope that someone messed up before he did. One by one the score went 7-0, 8-0, 9-0 and despite cheering on their opponents, Swanny and 'the Slugger' made it 11-0 - the Slugger taking out our gracious host Andi. The whitewash was now on!

But in a sacrifice not witnessed since Spock shut down the radiation leak in Star Trek 2, the captain threw the final frame. After fluking a treble on his first ball he was left with 6 reds assuming the 'gimme' position on the table. The clearance and 12-0 was on the cards. But a cleverly disguised drag shot which missed the pocket by the tiny amount of 14 cms left Mr C Grant with a chance to restore his teams honour.

Thirty seconds and four pots later it was all over.

11-1, the Bells honour restored, hearty handshakes all round. Will we ever see that sort of sportsmanship again? What a refreshing change from headbutting your opponent in the chest.

We faded off into the shadows. Some went home, some popped into Noctors and some reappeared in a big yellow building to give creative performance input to a "pukka lesbo act".

Next week it's a bye week and a chance for the Captain to get his finger out in the practice rooms - then the big clash with the Thatched Cottage."

THE CAPTAINS "YOU'RE NOT ON TELLY NOW POINTLESS FLAIR" SHOT OF THE WEEK:

This week it goes to the captain. Only marginally snookered behind the red at the bottom of the table and with the black close the opposite corner pocket, he played a non-required swerve round the ball, onto the side cushion and bouncing off just in time to skim the black and pot it.

Thanks to Keith for the report. No game next week so we'll see if we can continue this good form into our first home match of the season.

Slugger