Dear Racks Pack...

As news of the Rackspack exploits spreads across the globe, we have begun receiving offers of trials from the team. As a result ex-coach "Wonder" Walls has been sent to RUSSIA on a three week scouting mission, seeking out the best and hottest talent the nation has to offer, and recruiting them for Rackspack.

If the highlight of this week mailbox is anything to go by, "talent recruitment" barely covers it...

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Dear Racks Pack,

It's me again - Laura Averages!

Hey guess what , my cousin - Helena Hankart - has just called to say she met ex-coach Walls in a bar in Moscow last night - how weird is that?! She saw him sitting by himself and recognised him from the website. She's always had a thing for him so she went over and sat next to him.

"Hi" said Helena

"How you doin" said the ex-captain.

She took his hand and put it on her thigh. "So does that make you feel good ?" she asked.

"Yes" he said.

"I bet you have never felt as good as you do at this moment ?"

"Well," said the Wonder "actually I have. A few years ago my pool team made the final of this huge event. It was in front of 3000 people and my heart was racing before the start of it".

Helena was not happy with this answer, so she took his hand and started to run it up under her blouse and across her breasts. "How do you feel now" she asked.

"Pretty good" replied Wonder Walls.

"Have you ever felt a thrill like this? I bet you have never experienced a thrill as intense as right now" she said.

"Well," said the Wonder "in that same final I played the sudden death frame for the championship. I was snookered on my last ball, so I came off three cushions and potted it , sent the white round the table leaving me perfect on the black. With everyone cheering and my team mates going crazy it was one of the greatest thrills of my life" he reminisced.

Helena was getting quite angry at this point and grabbed his hand , shoved it up her skirt.

"OK THEN TELL ME THIS, HAVE YOU EVER FELT SUCH A FANNY??"

"Yeah" said Keith "I went in off in the middle bag".

What's with this guy?!?

Helena was so upset and all he kept going on about was pool! He kept asking her about who the local pool players were and going on and on about where he should go to watch the local talent...in the end he drilled her all night long. Such a disappointment for a girl. Still, when you come over to Sweden you are more than welcome to pump me and my sister for as much information as you like.

Yours in pool,
Laura Averages, Sweden
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Thanks for getting in touch Laura. It's fair to say that when it comes to talent Keith certainly has a one track mind. Still when he gets back I shall thoroughly debrief him in Smokey Joe's.