Match Report - Away versus Thatched Cottage

“Oh What A Night!

Late past midnight in the Thatched were we,

What a very special game to see,

What a late night Monday night!”

Cueists – what an amazing night Monday. Regular readers will know we were both ahead and behind before staging a remarkable comeback. That’s the summary – but as usual it’s only half the story…

Match report
by your reporter Kevin "Slugger" Southam

Having beaten The Unlikely Lads the previous week – the 7-5 scoreline flattering the lads – we knew that our Monday away match at the Thatched Cottage was the single hardest game left between now and the end of the season, and not only for the quality of the opposition.

Anyone who has played at the Thatched will know that it is - how can one put this – not ideally set-up for competitive pool having, as it does, a wall too close to one side of the table, and a pillar just above the middle pocket on the other. Despite (or perhaps because) of this, and due in no small part to the quality of player at the Thatched, matches here tend to last quite late and tend to be quite close.

Having played first and lost last week I wasn’t confident about retaining my place. Once I started running late at work (literally – I went to the gym) and I knew I wouldn’t get there until near dead-on 8PM I thought I was on the drop-tip for sure.

So 7:56PM and I’m doing a Steve Carmichael - 87MPH down the A404 and she wanted more - and I arrived just after the nick of time at 8:01PM. Surely it was time to grab some pine? NO! Three things counted in my favour – firstly, no-one else from my team had arrived yet so none of them knew I was “late”. Secondly, I know for a fact that Coach Shiel reads the blog and he knows he would get a right royal slagging off if he dropped me. Thirdly, and perhaps most crucially, Brad had text coach Shiel earlier in the day to say he couldn’t make and thus we only had six players.

And so it was that shortly after eight I was joined by Vic “no nickname” Summers, Coach Shiel, Lee “Grinder” Greenwood”, Neil “105.4” Cameron and, finally, the man with more expletives than an unrated Roy Chubby Brown DVD, John “****” Young.

It was time to settle down and get the first game underway – your truly Slugger Southam versus the man who needs no introduction but will get one anyway James Harness. And what a game it was – incredible potting, advanced tactical decisions, intense drama – this game had none of those things. What it did have was a cagey opening, followed by a super shot by James that opened the pack and exposed what should have been a dot-to-dot finish for a man of James’ calibre. Inexplicably he missed the easiest pot of the game into the middle bag and it was down to me to try an contain him long enough to fashion my own chances. I knew how tight the pockets were, and I used this to my advantage as I left James a tempter at the finish that required him to pot a ball down the cushion and hit it hard to get on his last ball. In the end he was tempted, missed and I had earned myself a shot at the game, which I duly took. 0-1

To paraphrase Wonder Walls, from then on it was Thatched Cottage alllll the way as the excellent start I had given us went to waste. Coach Shiel was up next and lost a tight one (1-1). Lee “G” G followed against Carl, and it appeared to all the world that neither of them wanted to win. They both had plenty of chances and in the end it fell to lee to garner two shots on the black. With the wise words of his Dad ringing in his ears (“Always use the two”) Lee attempted to set the black up with the first and pot it with the second. Great thinking, if only the execution had lived up to the conception. After his first shot he left the black harder than it should have been, and he promptly missed giving Carl a dolly black. 2-1

With Vic and Neil C up next I was confident that we would get back on track, but it was more of the same as we were railed-roaded into a 4-1 deficit. We had chances in both frames, both players suffering with some unusual bounces off the cushions, but by the start of frame six we were 4-1 down and needed JY to show us that last weeks “rest” had done him good. It looked good for us as Stevie Adams went in off giving JY two shots, ball in hand and a finish on. It looked even better as he got down to his last red with one shot left but he left himself too straight, and had to hit it hard to get on the black…and missed it in the tight corner pocket and Steve made him pay. 5-1 and we were being absolutely hammered.

Second half, and we needed a message from the captain. We needed some inspiration. It came in the form of a very short conversation between John Young, John Shiel and myself.

“John, I was thinking about putting you straight back on” said Coach Shiel

“John, will you win?” I asked.

“Yes I will. I want to play again straight away”.

That was it right there. That’s what we needed – Yes I will win. I want to play again straight away. It was the inspiration I was looking for, and from then on I knew we had a fighting chance. Cynics will say he wanted to play first so he could do his usual trick of getting home and through his front door before frame eight has started. Perhaps he wanted to avoid refereeing in the second half. No, I could see he wanted to stay and play. I could see it in his eyes, that steely determination, and I could hear it in his belly – the food hadn’t arrived yet and he was starving.

Whatever the reason he played a superb game against Steve Adams and gave us the start we needed. I turned to congratulate him but like the Scarlet Pimpernel, he had faded into the night. No matter, his job was done. 2-5.

John Shiel up next against John Molley, and this frame gave James Harness and myself the chance to scream “Come on John!” at ever shot. At the frames dénouement John M was left with an impossible double – it was too straight and surely there was no way he could avoid the double kiss? In the end he didn’t as he hit the shot hard, the red double-kissed the white, hit the cushion and doubled back into the other middle bag and leave him perfect on his last three reds. Home advantage has stalled our progress and had left a happy John and a bitter John. 6-2

Frame nine and I was up again. At 6-2 down there was no room for error – we had to win them all. I knew Lee would beat Carl and that Vic would beat Rob Uzzell in the next two frames, so I if I could beat Lol it would all be on Magic versus Dog in the last frame. It didn’t start well, I was budg. Lol gave me two and I ended up with a touching ball against my own ball and nothing else on. That’s when the luck changed. I played a hit and hope – I hold my hand up to that. All I was trying to do was disturb a few of his balls to make his finish harder. What I did do was send the white round the table, off two of my balls, back off the side cushion and it hit another of my balls, knocking it over a pocket around which two of Lol’s balls had gathered. Perfect. Lucky but perfect. After that it was anyone’s game. He covered a bag, I covered the black. He covered my balls, I cleared them away again. It was an engrossing tactical battle but I felt I was on top. I knew the shot I had to play I just needed the right time…and when the chance came I potted one of Lol’s balls leaving him with two balls over a pocket that my red was holding, and the black in a similar situation. Four visits later it was over 6-3.

Lee took his revenge on Carl Whose-surname-I-can’t-remember (6-4) and when Vic played Rob he was on top all the way, eventually extracting a foul snooker. One fantastic shot later (potting one of Rob's balls and opening his own balls up) and the game was at his mercy and the momentum was with Rackspack. 6-5.

It was all on Neil, and it turned out to be one of the longest games I’ve ever seen. Neil went for the finish early on but missed, leaving himself one red left. After that all he could do was hang on, and that’s not easy to do when your opponent has six balls and you have one. Neil was playing superbly well, covering balls, leaving the white in a difficult position, leaving Dog snookered – at no point did he leave Dog any kind of finish. I knew he would eventually get a chance, maybe only one, and I told him so. Eventually he managed to work his ball into the open and not leave Dog an easy finish.

Vic was pleading with his sister to take him home. John Shiel was shouting encouragement through the front window of the pub from the outdoor smoking area. James Harness and Rob Uzzell were blaming each other for the foul smells emanating from their corner of the pub. It was that kind of frame.

After not potting a ball for an hour, and with Vic physically with us but spiritually having left the building some time earlier, Neil worked his chance. He sank a fantastic red, but left a very difficult black into a blind pocket – rattle! After over an hour of pool, and at 1AM it came down to whether or not Dog could take out the difficult finish with the black hanging over the bag. He potted his first and with an ill-fitting sense of anticlimax went in off the top pocket leaving Neil two on the black that he didn’t need. 6-6.

Amazing stuff. A fantastic comeback and I was knackered. Coach Shiel had got himself so worked up over our potential comeback that when it came, he was relieved – metaphorically and, I dare say, literally.

I got home at 1:30AM and had to have a beer.

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Something to look forward to cueists - Wonder Walls is back next week with his unique brand of wit and pool, so if you have anything to let him know about, email us at rackspack@hotmail.co.uk and we'll open up the mailbox next week.