The past two weeks had been probably the most hectic of my existence! I got married in Germany one weekend and then had a party at the Irish Club the following Saturday. I had set new personal 'lows' or perhaps 'highs' by passing out in the toilets for an hour during my own celebration. Sometime between the band finishing and 12.30am I was fast asleep in the warm, moist environment of the gents. I was finally woken up by some loud knocking on the door and bounced back to carry on celebrating till 3 in the morning. Despite the pace of the party and gruelling rituals of the previous fortnight catching up on me I was not going to miss the most important night of the year so far. Come hell or high water I would be at the Pond House with a possible £30 Rackspack Showboat Jackpot up for grabs!
ALL ABOARD FOR THE POND HOUSE!!!
The last game if the first half of the season and we were due to be away to the Pond House, but a late phone call from Vinny explained that their table had a problem and so the match was switched to our home venue of The Bear. A change in team selection was needed as Neil was in Scotland and, despite my return to the bosom of the Rackspack, we were still a player short. Stepping manfully into the breach came Michael "Tizzy" Tizzard. Coach Southam had caught him off guard at the wedding party and convinced him to sign up to help us out. The lure of the Showboat proved enough of a worm to dangle in front of him and soon enough the fish was in the pan. Pens were put to paper, and with no more metaphors on the horizon the line up looked like this : 'Hokey Cokey' Shiel, Tiz, The Bear (at the Bear), Wonder Walls, Coach Southam and JY.
Our reputation for flair and quality had obviously preceded us, and in reaction The Pond House had added county A player Rob Sparks to their line up for the summer - we knew it wasn’t going to be easy. In addition it had become clear in the last few weeks that while the Showboat is in operation there’s always a chance that we could get caught out and lose frames chasing the 'green'.
What we needed was a little flair of our own. We already had Wonder, Tizzy and Bradley bear in the ranks but to take on and defeat County A quality flair we needed something special. The kind of man who does clearance for fun. Step forward John Hokey-Cokey Shiel.
Rob was up first against Hokey Cokey and after a good break off shot and a couple of pots Rob missed a ball down the rail to give HC the first crack at the money. But it wasn’t to be and Rob took the frame to give the Pond House the lead. Tiz broke in the next but could only dish-up and Johnny Dry-break. He was then forced to watch Tracey Harman take out 7 terrific balls only to miss a long black to the corner. A few shots later and Tizzy missed a red in the corner from a distance of about three inches, and her first miss became academic as Tracy knocked the black in to give the Pond House a 2-0 lead.
Mark Webb looked full of the joys of spring as he realised he was playing The Bear and his mood wasn’t improved as he broke and left the first real chance of the night for the Showboat. Even though we were 2-0 down and in need of the frame none of us wanted to see Brad take the money and he could feel the eyes in the back of his head and he proceeded to clear up. There was only one difficult ball - but it was enough and he broke down under the pressure of the difficult pot, and the fact we were all muttering under our breath and calling him names. Luckily for us Mark couldn’t take advantage and Brad pulled it back to 2-1 on his next visit. The Wonder had a dry break in the next but leveled the match when Mike Diaz opted for an attempted plant instead of taking the long straight yellow on which would have surely won the frame, 2-2.
Coach Southam put in another solid win against Ray Enderby to turn the match around and then it was JYs turn. After a monstrous break the Showboat looked set to sail....
JY stalked the table Like a tiger stalking a gazelle, or perhaps a cat stalking a mouse. There wasn’t a bad ball in sight. With the first 5 balls despatched and perfect on number 6 it was surely all over. But the pressure of the money coupled with the lack of support from his own team mates made him come out on the wrong side of the final ball and he was faced with a choice. Does he roll it in and go round the back of the two yellows and get on the black, or does he screw across from his last ball, into the yellows and hopefully hold for the easier black. JY played it safe and stroked the last one in but just didn’t hit it hard enough to leave an easy black to the centre. Instead with the white just off the bottom cushion and the black on its spot it was either the tricky cut to the middle or off straight length of the table pot to the top corner. Decisions decisions…
An eon passed as JY weighed up the options and finally went for the cut to the centre. A smooth stroke sent the black on its way as we rose from our seats to applaud him and to the victor the spoils...but NO! REJECTED! The black clips the first knuckle of the middle, then the second knuckle and sits over the pocket. Incredible - Brad and I were right behind the pot and it seemed to look perfect all the way. A collective sigh of relief from our corner was only shattered by the choicest of blue language from the Geordie boy in the other. James Graham then went in off, giving JY two shots on the easy black and he put us 4-2 up to sarcastic cheers and clapping from us about what an 'important' frame that was...
Failure!
4-2 at the break, but the important stat was that the money was now over £30 and all to play for. We now entered the usual routine of trying to bribe coach to play as high up in the order as possible to get the first shot at the cash. Tiz got the first crack in the second half and won the toss against Mike but yet another dry break meant that he didn’t get a chance. However he avoided a double doughnut on his Rackspack debut to put us 5-2 in front and almost out of sight.
The Bear went next and once again had to play the luckless Mark Webb. As if he was going halves with him Mark broke and left them perfect - and if there’s one person you don’t want to do that to, it’s the Most Hated Man In Pool.
If I had ran a book on who was going to get the cash I would have the MHMIP at the top of the list as heavy favourite. Not only is he is our best player but he is the sort of spawny git who was bound to have it handed to him on a plate. Neil was missing his first game in about 3 years of playing for us so you just knew it was going to go tonight when he wasn’t there. When Brad had arrived earlier saying that he only turned up because the jackpot was on a rollover there was a sense of inevitability about the destination of the first Show Boat Jackpot of the season. Sure enough, an absolute dot to dot finish was laid on for him and our only hope was he crumble under pressure, swine flu or our desperate attempts to put him off that would stop him. They all failed and 60 seconds later he was staring down a straight black. With one wave of the cue and a victory cry of " HONNNNNNNNNNNKK " the Showboat was won and he moved into second position just behind 'cold callers' as the most irritating person in Britain.
"Good afternoon, Im calling from the Halifax - did you know that our Brad Robinson Showboat Winner Commemorative Plaque is free when you purchase our house insurance?"
With the depressing sound of JY’s pound coin rattling alone in our piggy bank we trudged on while Brad was busy sending a text message to Neil which simply said "HONK HONK!". Again Tracy Harman played a great frame but was denied a double double-u on the night when JY nicked it. Coach repeated his first half success over Ray Enderby with possibly the finish of the night and the Wonder got away with murder when James missed a black over the bag to remain undefeated so far this season.
9-2 up and time for Hokey Cokey to get some revenge on Rob Sparks for his first half loss. Rob broke and after missing his last ball HC went for the clearance and a palty £4 from the new pot. He hit flair shot of the night smashing a red down the length of the cushion and screwing all the way back up the table to get on his last ball. But he rattled it in the jaws and Rob chalked up his second win on the night - both against HC - and despite no food being available because of the late switch of venue HC had still found time to dial up and order the dreaded double bagel! From shot of the night to worst performance of the night - these are the razor thin margins the Rackspack are dealing with.
Hokey Cokey - began the night as JOHN SHIEL , then went to JOHN SHIEL L and finally to JOHN SHIEL L L
So , 9-3 and on we march to the second half of the season. We should have been run a lot closer from 2-0 down but got away with three frames after that which we never should have won to pull clear. One Showboat gone, £4 rolling to next week.
Next week we'll be dipping into the mailbox as Mr Bradley Robinson demands a rules clarification and Ben Kiely-Kiely, one of the famous Kiely brothers, demands we stop taking the p**s. One of these people will get what they want!
No comments:
Post a Comment