Thursday, August 12, 2010

Match Report - Week 4 - Away versus Golden Cross 'A'

Half the season gone, half the season to go and the back half started at the Crooked Billet on Monday night. Half pub, half curry house and for a while half a team as people struggled to make it. Was it the fact that the Showboat had gone and was now a measly £4 after the MHMIP had struck? Had we shot ourselves in the foot by inventing a novelty gimmick that was supposed to keep attendance up but now maybe has the reverse effect? There were more questions than answers last Monday as we descended on the Billet.

It had been a draining 24 hours in the world of pool. Any of you who were at the Berkshire county match on Sunday would have seen Berkshire win a Grand Slam for the first time in our history with the ladies, A , B and C teams all winning against Hampshire. In the 'A', at 22-21 the whole day had come down to one frame and Rackspack kingpin Pat Phelan potted the magical black to snatch a win from the jaws of a draw. It gave me a chance to sing “You’ve lost… to Patrick Phelan..wooa-ohh to Patrick Phelan” to the Hampshire player but as no one else joined in I had wasted what I thought was a great gag. Emotional drained by the whole county experience and with a piffling four quid in the Showboat we could have been forgiven for easing off. But we of the pack are made off sterner stuff, and with the threat of being embarrassed on Youtube now a stark and weekly reality, you couldn’t afford to be pulling up a chair with Mr Flange and ordering the all you can eat Budget Buffet.

A “Crooked Billet” is in fact nothing to do with rivers, birds or the U.S battle of the same name during the American civil war. It actually refers to what was hung outside the pub in olden days to show that it was a public house or inn available for drinking and lodging. As there were no signs in those days the owner would hang something outside the door as a marker for weary travellers to find.  Pubs such as “The Boot” or “The Copper Kettle” for example would have those items stuck to the door. You could then tell a stranger that if they wanted some food or a bed for the night they had to walk up the street until they reached “The Copper Kettle”.

A ‘Billet’ was a bent piece of wood or crooked branch that would have been snapped off a tree and nailed above the entrance for all to see. “Just go down the road until you see the crooked billet”. In latter and more modern times, rather than break parts off a tree you might have seen a couple of planks outside instead. Anyway as I arrived on Monday Brad Robinson and Rob Walsh were already at the door waiting.

Match Report – Away versus The Crooked Billet v Rackspack

JY was absent this week and with only four pound in the boat the Coach Southam's random selection draw was greeted with a “ah whatever” as the numbers were read out.  Neil was late anyway so he moved into slot 7 and John Shiel led off. A scrappy frame with Wayne Shepherd saw John put us 1-0 up. It was 2-0 when, under the most severe and intense pressure of playing Coach Southam, Tony Baxter ordered from the Budget Buffet and left a straight forward black in the jaws for the Coach to polish off.

The Billet got back into the match when St John knocked in a great long red from just under the cushion and followed up with a nice black to defeat Rob Walsh (2-1), but their hope was short-lived. Brad, Pat Phelan and The Wonder extended the lead by the time the bhajis were served. Of particular note in the Wonder's frame was his escape to pot his last red, being light years ahead in skill compared to his always feared and always unnecessary ‘pointless drag shot’ that he keeps pulling out just to remind us how badly he can play it. With a red over the bottom bag it was harder to miss than pot but with the pointless drag in his locker anything is possible. In the end the miss made no difference as we hit the break 5-1 up.

The chronic drag shot could have been the reason behind The Wonder being on the drop-tip for the second half. Meanwhile the Showboat had crept up to a not untidy tenner and no one had really looked in the running.

That was until Neil “The magic” popped up and was going great until he split the black and failed to get onto his last yellow. A desperate attempt at the double narrowly missed and the showboat lived on. Unperturbed “Magic” potted a great yellow from a total snooker to beat D Shepherd.

Coach Southam exacted Rackspack Revenge on St John after a frame that was, quite frankly, an offence to all who watched it as Coach proceeded to try and gather all six of his balls around two corner pockets without potting them (7-1). Rob made up for defeat in the first six to put us 8-1 ahead.

Hokey Cokey scarified winning against Tony Baxter by trying to win Pointless Flair shot of the week. The attempt to treble the black in round the angles was poor. The second attempt when he left the black back in the same place it started was even worse. Somewhere in the middle of this incompetent sandwich Tony got a chance and took it with a fine double on the black (8-2).

The biggest cheer went up as Brad broke dry when all we feared was that he might take the boat again. The mood was further lightened as the Bear managed to pot the black when still with a ball left. That brings the total of frames lost by us fouling on the black to three.

So as the evening drew to a close and we all contemplated a possible Showboat roll-over for next week at North Maidenhead, the Berkshire county hero of Sunday sneaked in on the blind-side. After his opponent broke and went in off it was ball in hand, and the final question of the night was could Pat take down the £16 or was it going to be a roll-over...

http://www.youtube.com/user/rackspack#p/a/u/1/zqqqu59I0vQ

Shots of the week:

http://www.youtube.com/user/rackspack#p/a/u/0/WGOoA9Y7eHU

K&K

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