Home versus Bell B

A note from the editor

As editor-in-chief of the most influential blog since www.hotasianchicks.blogspot.com I have an awesome responsibility, both to the truth and to myself. The captain's reports are mailed to me on a weekly basis by Keith 'poetic license' Walls and go, largely un-edited, straight into the blog, through the worlds servers and pc's, and into the critical glare of the waiting public.

A painless process one would think. Painless, that is, until one becomes the first player of the season to lose two games in one night.

Should I have been nervous? Did the threats of a 'right royal slagging off' have any substance? Would I have to abandon my policy of non-sanitisation? Cueists - decide for yourself as we read the latest reportage...

Captains Report
Keith Walls

"With a two week break coming up, and the Thatched Cottage having a week off, it was a chance for the Racks Pack to take the division by the scruff of the neck by opening a can of whoop ass on the Bells B. This was the first game in the 'second half' of the season, and having beaten the Bell 11-1 in the opening game the captain was eyeing up a comfortable win to put the pressure on the Cottage in the race for the division title.

So with that in mind the captain went in first to bat and lost again. It was a little bit unlucky when he doubled the white off the side cushion, back across the table to knock his last yellow into the middle, only to see the white fly in straight after it. But that would overshadow his two pathetic attempts on the yellow when he should have cleared up to leave Chris Grant with 7 reds.

Mr Grant must rub his hands with glee when he sees 'K Walls' on the opposite side of the card to his name - you might recall he chinned the captain to save the 12-0 in the first match. He's going to be queuing up to play the captain everytime now and let me tell you, that queue seems to get longer and longer every week!

"Take a ticket son, we'll call you when its your turn"

In the second game JY was fortunate to beat Andi, who played well yet again. She should have won but after potting a long red the white shot up the table and managed to pot the black in the corner. It could have been 2-0 - it made it 1-1.

Brad 'its as good as a two-nil lead' Robinson huffed and puffed through his frame and finished it off with our winner for 'Pointless Flair Shot of the Week'. I don't care what anyone says - it was as pointless as it comes ! 2-1.

So after a momentary stumble things were taking shape and this was where we were going to kick on - wrong. Kev played a sitter of a black so slowly towards the pocket you would have thought he was playing it uphill. It was exactly the way you should play it with two shots - just a pity he only had one! Kerry, his lady opponent, needed no second invitation and cracked in the last few reds, followed by the black, and it was level at 2-2.

The captain got some extra punishment by reffing Neils frame. Neils lack of experience of the rules shone through as he struggled to get into a frame which got bogged down into a long tactical battle. Unfortunately neither he or his opponent had any idea what a tactical battle was and Neil managed to hang in there until his opponent made a mistake 3-2. It was actually a damn good win considering the score at the time and the position Neil found himself in with three pockets all covered.

Swanny pulled off an outrageous fluke in the next on his final red, but guilt got the better off him and he deliberately missed the black by so far it had to change postcode - surely he could not have been trying to pot it? 3-3.

A perfect second half?

A brilliant bit of team selection was needed to turn this thing around. The captain got off the quiz machine after thinking that "a Straw Boater" was the South African primeminister and a team huddle ensued. Having seen enough of the farce unfolding before him JY had legged it, and was replaced by the recently-arrived Treddy - a straight swap.

Up first, Treddy put in a superb error free break-and-dish, and Brad almost did the same but for some 'captain-like' positioning on his last ball. However he recovered and it was 5-3.

The captain then proved to be deadly when you give him 5 chances at a single yellow over the bag and Swanny temporarily changed his name to "Ron Seal" to make it 7-3 , what a lovely finish!

We were heading for a back six of straight wins for the second week running when an unnecessary (and frankly unwelcome) appearance from 'Judge Budge' made it 7-4. It was a double loss for Kev and our teams first one of the season. I've been told to go easy on him, so all I can say is that on his day he is a great player. Unfortunately his day is Wednesday and we play on Monday nights!!

Thankfully Neil continued his good form and took the last to give us an 8-4 win.

So not exactly the result we needed but we have two weeks off before the big clash with the Thatched that should decide the division. The final stages are seeded, so winning the group and avoiding one of the top teams is vital - we don't want to be relying on qualifying through a 'best runners up' spot.

POINTLESS FLAIR SHOT OF THE WEEK:
Brad Robinson - two yellows left, one near the middle , the other over the corner pocket. The one near the pocket is partially covered by a red and the black stuck on top of that. He cuts the yellow in, ploughs into the black that hits the red, that pots his last yellow and the red in turn comes back off the cushion flicking the black leaving it dead straight into the corner. I don't care what anyone says - that shot was not necessary!!

Next game - September 4th at home to the Thatched!"

Thank you for going easy on me Keith, my journalistic integrity remains intact - I needn't have worried! Not having a game for three weeks affords me time on the baize to eradicate the judge budg element of my game. As Keith rightly says, the key game is home versus the Thatched Cottage in three weeks. Win that and the league is as good as ours.

Wishing you all good cueing,

Kevin.