Match report - Week 1

REMINDER

Before we get to this weeks report here’s a reminder of our email address. It’s rackspack@hotmail.co.uk - and yes, it is genuine - so if there’s anything you want to gripe about, a report you want to give or you just want a mention then please do get in touch. In addition if you’d like to be kept informed of any blog updates as soon as they happen, we can add you to the mailing list. Let us know!

POSTBAG

Having been away and not checked the mailbox for a couple of months, it took Kevin and I literally weeks to get through the mountain of abuse, ahem...correspondence that had built up in the Rackspack inbox over the summer. However one email in particular leapt off the screen, and it was from one of our many female fans:

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Dear Rackspack,

Is there any chance that you could put up some player profiles on your site, perhaps with a photo or two? My twin sister and I read your blog every week, and it would be nice to put a handsome face to the names.

Yours in Pool

Laura Averages, Age 19, Sweden
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Laura we think that’s an excellent idea, and whilst for reasons of decency we won’t be able to put up the picture you kindly sent of you helping your sister remove the ping-pong balls, we will try and bring a few photos to the site for you and the rest of our legion of ardent female admirers.

I’m not sure it qualifies as handsome, but keep an eye out in the next few days for our first player profile featuring Coach Shiel.

FORMER CAPTAIN’S REPORT

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” or “There’s a new broom and it’s sweeping clean!”

You know when you go shopping and buy yourself a present - you can’t wait to tear open the box and get stuck in! Well that’s how we at the Rackspack feel on the dawning of a new season.

You arrive at the doors, take a look up at the stairway in front of you and hear the distant sound of wood on crystallite (or in Bens case, crystallite on laminate floor then bouncing off table leg). You take a deep breath and absorb the electric atmosphere – the new season has finally arrived!

The first game of the new season is a tricky one - we open up with a home game against “Earls Angels”. Steve Cox has spent most of the last few weeks giving us grief about our side and generally moaning about how difficult the section is blah blah blah. Unsurprisingly by match night he is nowhere to be seen - shame on him.

Most of us are there practicing at seven pm, and by the time Kevin arrives just before eight, declaring that “this is the god-damn best looking team I have ever played for” we’re only waiting on Brad. As if to prove the old adage that “the more things change, the more they stay the same” a text message comes in from ‘the Bear’ saying he can’t make the it – he’s in Magalouf, and the women are ‘a bit easy’ – I can’t work out if he is boasting or complaining. Regardless he says he is available for next week. Great - if only we didn’t have a bye.

In a staggering break from tradition Coach Shiel decides to act the part, and gives a prematch pep-talk. He immediately sets the cat amongst the pigeons by switching ‘Magic 105.4’ Cameron from his comfortable 6th spot to openers instead.

So first match, first game and it’s a clash with Tyler Coombs who is younger than my jeans but in far better condition. Tyler is an excellent young player and will soon be beating us all silly when our eyesight fades and hair goes grey [for some of us this will be sooner rather than later Mr Walls – KS]

Despite the lay off it’s business as usual for Magic as he picks up where he left off in the winter: playing badly, blundering up the finish, then getting let off the hook when his opponent gives him two shots. Textbook stuff, but at least he didn’t miscue. 1-0

By the way, Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism, is the man responsible for the thousand miles quote. Amongst other ideas, it supports the concept that we can all be one with nature, and if we are then rules and order are not necessary.

However even Mr Tzu and all his karma dribble can’t explain JY’s appalling frame against Claire Dormer. After a terrible attempt to win ‘Pointless Flair Shot of the Week’ on the black, it looked like Claire had missed her chance when rattling her last yellow. JY had other ideas, but none of them included winning and he promptly went in off the black. 1-1.

From then on it’s Rackspack alllllllllll the way baby.

Vic Summers makes a winning debut with two excellent pots and defeats Josh ‘the pigeon’ Bladstock (2-1) and I put in the first 8 ball finish off the season (3-1). Vic and I are feeling pretty pleased with our performances! Coach Shiel was also impressed, so much so that he immediately drops us both from the second half!!! Unbelievable, the ex-captain is hitting the pine as he and Vic are benched.

Ben is up next and puts in the first of his two wins on the night by beating Ross, despite having to play the ‘impossible dream” - trying to roll a ball along the bottom cushion. You can roll a ball along it and see it curl out two inches before it reaches the pocket - a fact that we all helpfully pointed out to Ben after the game (4-1).

Lee ‘The Grinder’ Greenwood manages a double as well, starting off with victory over ‘Phodge’ and ending with another W against ‘the pigeon’. Neil clinches ‘Pointless flair shot of the week’ with a double on the black against Tyler who falls to him for the second time in the match.

Ashley Dingley (son of ‘Turncoat Terry’) feels the full wrath of Coach Shiel in the first of the back half, and Kevin seals the win on the night by beating Claire (7-1).

By the last frame everyone has won except JY. Coach Shiel cleverly put JY on last, which means not only did he have to stay to the end for a change, but he is also under maximum pressure to not register a double doughnut (00) on the night. Luckily Tyler’s dad is sympathetic to JY’s problems and let’s him win one. It finishes 11-JY.

So an excellent start to the season. Our big rivals Thatched Cottage and The Likely Lads posted 9-3 and 10-2 wins respectively so we have a frame advantage – it could prove to be all-important by the business end of the season.

K&K