Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Match Report - Away versus The Likely Lads

Before we get to this weeks drivel and really get our teeth into Kevin’s horrendous performance we had better mention a couple of other things that have happened this week.

Firstly some bad news. James “Britain’s Hardest” Harness was knocked off his motorbike on Saturday and is currently strapped to a bed in a Surrey hospital. A couple of broken vertebrae and a fractured pelvis doesn’t sound too good but it could have been a lot worse. The Racks Pack doctor advises us that such injuries could badly affect his ability to play pool...or should that be his ability to play pool badly. Either way, we wish him a full and speedy recovery.

If you have any stories or messages to pass on to James, you can email them to us and we will get them to him. James played for us last summer and all of us at Racks have known and played with him many times over the last 15-20 years.

Next up we have a link to the Bracknell and Ascot website, where you’ll find their version of events from the recent Champion of Champion qualifiers. Seeing as I gave my view a few blog entries ago, I thought that it only fair to give them a right to reply.

Click on http://www.bracknellascotpool.com/latestnews.html and scroll down to the “Gypos slay the Haig” headline.

In the report of the match against the Irish Club a couple of things standoiut. Firstly their description of the decider, and more precisely how they thought that “the table had come to the rescue of the Irish”. It’s quite funny and probably tongue-in-cheek, but they have completely missed the point. Brad deliberately left his oppo a pot knowing full well he had no hope of getting on his last ball. The guy was suckered in and played the shot anyway, and of course didn’t get on it and subsequently lost the match. Secondly we at Racks Packs towers were not amused to read their admission that they knew Brad was up for the Irish in the deciding frame and that “all bets were off…Brad was going to win it”. This statement has propelled ‘The Bears’ already insufferable ego to new stratospheric heights! The final line about it being a shame either team had to lose is absolutely bang on – The Twigg were ambassadors for Bracknell pool, both on and off the table.

The account of the game versus The Lady Haig also raised a smile here in Racks Pack Towers. I particularly enjoyed the part mocking the bloke in the long coat – seeing as a couple of the “Gypos” dropped their load when approaching him at the end of the match – one of them with a clenched fist. Other than that, the most glaring error on the page is that it fails to mention their subsequent disqualification for fielding an illegal player.

An interesting aside, it wasn’t until I read their report that I realised how strong the rivalry is between the Bracknell and Slough teams. The Irish Club have easily been the best side in the county for the last decade (even if you say so yourself – ED), however it has to be said we’ve lost our edge lacking, as we do, any serious competition in the area. The match against The Twigg was just the kick in the arse that we needed to pull our fingers out and put in a top performance. That sort of competition between the top sides is needed and hopefully that will encourage the B&A players to keep getting better and help strengthen the county side for next season. It’s a shame that the Irish Club will be disbanding as it brings to an end a golden era of pool at the Irish club.

There could well be a whole blog entry dedicated to the subject if only to allow me to reminisce about some great times and wallow in self indulgence.

Before my mind wanders, let’s move swiftly on to this weeks match report against The Likely Lads.

What became of the Likely Lads?

Thanks to a combination of bye weeks, teams being ejected and of course gross stupidity, none of the Racks Pack had swung a cue in anger for a month. None, that is, apart from Bradley who seems to be aiming for a new pool endurance record playing, as he does, every other day of the week. Taking into account Maidenhead on a Monday, Slough league on Thursdays, Interleague at Chiswick on a Sunday, a recent county match against Surrey and also the Interleague knockout finals in Yarmouth, surely it’s only a matter of time before he tops the averages somewhere. All this is just a typical few weeks pool in the life of the big fella.

All this pool must have taken it’s toll on the bear, as earlier on Monday afternoon he had text Slugger angling for a lift to pool that night, but instead ended up driving and picking him up! Our match was away at The Pond House, and as usual the rest of us had met up at racks for some practice.

It was Coach Shiels’ birthday, and to help him celebrate he had bought Mrs Coach along. She was in the mood for a night of top class pool and entertainment, but must have been sorely disappointed to find out that we were playing the Likely Lads.

To have almost any hope of clinching the divisional title, we needed a big win over the Likely Lads allied to some kind of miracle/shock result in the game between The Thatched Cottage and Earls Angels. Only these two events in unison would set up a ‘winner takes all’ decider with the TC at our place next Monday. Of course Triple T (Terry The Turncoat) was also aware of this and, like the incontinent uncle at the family birthday, would do all he could to spoil the party.

Leading off was our man at the top of the averages, ‘Slugger’ versus Steve ‘she wanted more’ Carmichael. Kevin had already said on a number of occasions how much he enjoys playing the ‘Aslan of the green baize’, although by now probably not as much as Steve enjoys playing Kev. He of the golden mane beat our own fair-haired fop for the second time in two matches. 0-1

The Bear must have been ‘all pooled out’ as he lost to Andos Brant who hit a cracking black up the rail to put the LL 2-0 up, and dancing Danny Raj outlasted the Coach in a tactical finish as they raced into a commanding 3-0 lead.

By now the idea of us registering a big victory to keep pace in the section was now out the window, and instead it was becoming a case of just trying to avoid an embarrassing thrashing. The comeback began when ‘the Wonder’ beat Maurice Dingley, despite missing an 8-ball finish with a shocking in-off from his second last yellow [shocking as in it took you that long in the frame to go in-off – ED]. 3-1

The comeback was short-lived when Magic lost out to Triple T, who pulled off one of the most outrageous, all time great, fluked safety shots, jawing the white ball in the top corner pocket and leaving Magic snookered on the black thanks to a red in the middle of the table. Triple T polished the game off when he got two shots and Magic was left cursing another loss. 4-1

JY clawed a frame back for us against Pat, who made a terrible mistake sinking the white with the frame at his mercy. At the break it was 4-2.

What was needed now was a few of our top people to pull their thumbs out and stop playing like men with no thumbs. The Bear did just that, handing Pat a second loss in two frames (and a fourth loss out of four against us this season) and JY, fearing a hatchet job when his upcoming profile is published notched his second win on the night to draw us level. 4-4

In the next Andos Brant lost the white ball to give your truly two visits, and I produced the Dish of the Day with a visit to spare to haul the Rackspack ahead for the first time in the match. 5-4

All momentum was with the RP and we were looking unstoppable. We thought there was light at the end of the tunnel after all, but the light turned out to be that of an oncoming train as The Slugger had his pants pulled down and his arse spanked by a gleeful Steve Carmichael. With a plant lined up to take the frame his arm wrote a cheque that his ability couldn’t cash and the red stayed up over the pocket allowing ‘Aslan’ to level it up at 5-5. We put out an order for ‘Two bagels to go’ for The Slugger and they delivered.


















Needing both the last two to win it my money wouldn’t have been on Magic to beat Danny. Magic has had almost no run of the balls this season, and his task wasn’t made any easier by me putting Fleetwood Mac’s “Go your own way” on the jukebox just a he was putting in his first clearance attempt. He was unlucky to just nudge his last red behind a yellow but recovered to put it over a pocket. Than, after potting the red and surviving a snooker on the black the bad run he had been getting went out the window as he came off the side cushion to escape a snooker, crashed into the black and managed to slam it into the middle pocket. 6-5

And so the scene was set for birthday boy Coach Shiel to go out and win the match for us and with it the love of his woman. Frankly he owed us for the debacle of missing the Golden Cross fixture a few weeks earlier, and with Mrs Coach in attendance everything was poised for him to repay both team and wife. A couple of misfires, some lucky leaves, and a miss from Triple T gave Coach a long black for the win. It rattled in the jaws of the pocket, thought about it, and subsequently decided that since it was his birthday it would finally drop just when we all thought it was staying up. 7-5 and the victory was ours.















So we escaped with the 3 points but really three points and a 7-5 win wasn’t enough. The Thatched won 10-2 some quick calculations on Stephen Hawking’s wheelchair tell us that we need to win at least 11-1 next Monday to nick the section. Unlikely but lest we forget…we are not simply men - we are Racks Pack!!

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