Quarter Final Match Report - Home versus WAMSAD

With the quarter final draw now published we looked at the fixtures and saw WAMSAD at home. Nice one, we thought, we can put that to bed early and then shoot down to the Bell to watch BAPL play the Forresters, should be a good match. That cunning plan went awry thanks to a bloke with a broken arm, a woman nine months pregnant and worryingly, a nasty case of the jitters.

The Mummy’s Revenge

Here at Rackspack towers we’ve never lacked confidence. Even before the draw for the quarterfinals we were confident that Coach Southam could succeed where others had failed in the past i.e. take Rackspack to the summer league title and onwards to knockout glory. Our confidence was such that even at this crucial time, Coach Southam had taken leave of us to chair the meeting of the International Brothel Playboys Union in Germany. It was a gathering where a Zorro mask and white bobbie socks are the ensemble du jour. It meant that we weren’t able to count on his vast leadership qualities as we prepared for our quarter final with WAMSAD.

Not a massive surprise to start the night, JY had mailed earlier me to say that he'd spoke to Tizzard and he was definitely coming, only for the aforementioned “Wizard” to not turn up. Never mind, Craig 'Muttley' Wilson was on hand and ready to show us just what he could do with a load of balls and a (four hundred pound) Parris Cue [eat your heart out Chas and Dave – Ed.]

For the serious stuff of the quarter finals the Showboat has been suspended, and it was down to the 'Wonder' Walls to take on the mammoth task of getting the order just right for this last 8 clash. Throwing caution and common sense to the wind, and in stark contrast to his stint as team captain, he decided to lead from the front and put himself in first. His opponent was Mark 'The Mummy' Richbell. Why the Mummy? Fresh from a broken arm Mark’s arm was wrapped up tighter than Tutankhamen and was only playing as WAMSAD were missing two of their normal starting line up. Because of the state of his arm he had to give Wonder the break – a bizarre move in itself - however more bizarre was the sight of Mark getting prepared for the frame.

See if you can picture this - Mark in full arm cast holding the cue horizontally and then one player holding the top end of the cue, another player the 'butt' end a third unwrapping some of the bandage from his busted arm and tying Mark’s hand to the cue! Eventually man and cue had become one and we were underway.

The Wonder broke and went for it, then seemed to forget what he actually went for and then realised he should have stayed home and ordered it online as "The Mummy" cleared up with his second visit to put WAMSAD 1-0 up. We all knew that the Wonder could be beaten by a man with one arm and now the evidence was right there in front of our eyes.



“Mark celebrates his win with the Peter Crouch Robot Dance”

Frame two, and Hokey Cokey has taken more slating this season than the roof of St Paul’s Cathedral but he ground out the next one in his usual composed fashion. Andy Gatehouse didn’t get much of a look in once HC covered a couple of pockets and it was 1-1.

Chris Stanmore then missed a great chance to put WAMSAD in front when he missed a red against the 'Bear' and when Muttley put his new cue to good use against Sam Stanmore normal service had been resumed. 3-1 to the Pack.

Frame five and it was the turn of the Rackspack Sol Campbell AKA John Young. Just like the "Velvet Judas" JY also tends to disappear after one match, and who knew what to expect as he took on Debbie "I’m expecting" Richbell. Yes, young Debbie was 8 and 3/4 months into her attempt at breeding. Interestingly if you put her and JY behind a screen and made silhouettes you might have struggled to guess who was who. So with Mark "the Mummy" Richbell having already played we now had Debbie "The Mummy II" Richbell coming out of trap five. All we needed now was the little one to appear and we could have had a trilogy.

As it was JY got the solid a good victory we needed. Debbie was struggling to reach the white when there was a stretch on and was using HCs hand for bridging in order to play some shots. This led to the question of whether or not we could still claim 2 shots if HC accidentally touched a ball? Still she was unlucky in that while clearing up the reds she inadvertently snookered herself on the last two balls and it cost her the frame.

4-1 up and surely it was all over? Not so fast readers. Matt Fry was a grateful recipient of a frame when Magic somehow potted a red and cannoned the black across the table and into the middle bag and 4-2.

We couldn’t afford to be complacent so the Wonder went for the jugular and put Bradley Bear out to bat in frame 7 with strict instructions to come back with a win. Mark 'The Mummy' had got his strap on sorted out and was looking for the unlikeliest double in league pool – beating the Bear and the Wonder in one sitting. Well, 5 minutes later this unlikeliest of doubles was written into pool folklore as the bandaged maestro did it again and secured a more popular double than Les Dawson’s chin and suddenly it was 4-3. Now everyone wanted a bandage and to be tied to their cues as it seemed to work miracles.

At that point the last thing I need was to be asked for an update by Coach Southam…

(text from Coach) “How’s it going”

(text to Coach) "It’s 4-3! Me and Brad have lost to a bloke with a broken arm."

(text from Coach) "you guys better not lose. How can you play pool with a broken arm? In fact you'll find out if you screw this up!"

Technology – isn’t it wonderful.

4-3, game on, and it was time for us to open our legs and show our class. Muttley Wilson played Andrew Gatehouse and after missing a black Muttley found himself snookered. He got out of it but the frame was there for the taking. Andrew was left with the classic 'Robbie Williams' into the top right hand pocket (looks straight but definitely isn’t). It rattled, but he left Craig snookered yet again. But you don’t buy an expensive cue like Craig’s unless you either know how to fluke your way out of a snooker or you are completely stupid. Luckily for us it was the former, and a missed red from Andrew and it was soon 5-3.

Frame nine and the Wonder had to redeem himself. His confidence was severely dented after losing to a one armed pool player. In order to try and make certain of the frame he tried something totally out of character - a safety shot. Looking like he had been playing them all his life he glanced off his yellow…and sunk the white into the corner bag! But Sam Stanmore missed his one chance when he tried to free his red near the corner and didn’t get it clear. The Wonder played an excellent positional shot (one out of ten isn’t bad) to get onto his penultimate ball and we were on the hill at 6-3.



'Safety is not The Wonder's strong point'

We needed one more and we got it via Hokey Cokey as he did the business with a no nonsense effort on Chris Stanmore. John 'Sol Campbell'' Young took out Matt Fry in good style and while we munched on the sandwiches the only excitement left was whether or not Neil ‘Magic’ Cameron could save himself from the dreaded double doughnut against Debbie "The Mummy II". As it turned out Magic couldn’t pull a rabbit out of the hat this time, and it was the yummy mummy who beat Magic and left him with the doughy taste of two losses. Debbie then told us that the kid was due on Monday, and it was to be called Neil – ironic, because we've got a Neil and he is going to be dropped next Monday as well!

So it finished 8-4 and after the handshakes and cast-shakes we raced to The Bell to catch the rest of their match, except it was all over – BAPL had beaten The Foresters 7-0! What on earth happened there? If anyone cared they would have their own blog! Next week we’re in the semi final versus Heinz 57 and plenty of inter team rivalry as the members of the Thursday night Irish Club side find themselves on opposite sides for a place in the final.

Happy cueing.