THE LAST POST. (so it's a long one !)
So it came to pass that the Racks Pack assault on the Maidenhead Summer League came to a premature end and I’m gutted.
I always believed that we would make it to the finals night, where the semi and final or 3rd/4th place play off would await. If we had just made it through Monday night we had two more games guaranteed and a bigger stage and test for our players.
With Treddy running late we had the bare six and as I originally had him down to be the lead off man it upset the running order that I had planned. A quick shift around and I stuck myself up first. As I had been away for the last few weeks it wasn't ideal but it had to be done.
After looking like I wasn't going to get a visit I missed the chance to take out the finish when I snookered myself on the last yellow after developing the black. But my opponent rattled a red he should never have taken on, and I was relieved to knock in the yellow and push the black over the opposite bag. 1-0.
JY played like a man possessed; sorry that's wrong - JY played a man possessed. Steve (?) Wallis got one look at the clearance and picked off four balls and a long black to level it. 1-1.
Then came the first of several crucial swings in the match, none of which were to go our way.
Neil played Jason Gilbert and almost produced a terrific finish. Almost. Doubling his last two reds he was desperately unlucky to leave the white hard up against the bottom cushion and starring at an almost straight black into the middle. The angle was pretty awful but with Jason’s yellow close to the pocket it gave the possibility of knocking the black in off it. Neil couldn't have hit it much better but it hung right on the edge having flicked the yellow. Jason played safe, and Neil opted to give him two shots rather than hit the black. Jason freed his difficult yellow and polished it off. 1-2.
It became a frame of some discussion as to whether giving away the two was the right shot. Personally I don't like giving anyone two shots and I would have elected to play the black even though it wasn't potable. Lee thought that the deliberate foul was the better idea and given the way he has played this season and how he played his frames I couldn't argue.
Kev stepped in at 2-1 down for a frame that I thought we had to win. He hardly put a shot wrong, apart from potting one yellow that should have gone over the pocket. In the end Leon fluffed a red, failed to hit a cushion and Kevin used the two to put himself in a winning position. Another set of two shots and he was soon rolling the black in. 2-2.
The second crucial point of the night was frame 5. Swanny, who is on a dreadful run of luck and zero confidence, got involved in one of those frames where neither player seemed to be able to give it away. Having got down to the black first he missed a difficult long pot and Rav stumbled through two yellows to leave a fortunate straight black. 2-3.
It has to be noted that Rav sportingly called a foul against himself that no one else saw as he was cueing up on a frame winning opportunity.
Lee came in for another ‘must win’. I didn't want to be chasing the match at 4-2 down and he played one of the cleverest shots I’ve seen in World Rules. Although I’ve been playing them for five years now, a lack of frames and the fact I might only play a few times a month means I’m no expert. Lee had gone for a finish that required him to roll a long yellow down the cushion and use two shots on the black. The yellow rattled and left a thin nick to get across the table for the black. I know that I would have taken the pot on without question. Instead Lee walked round the table and rolled the white up over the top corner giving the Forrester’s player two shots. It was a great spot. The Forresters guy was totally boxed in and nothing but a fluked clearance would save him. He failed, and Lee took his time to make it 3-3.
Kevin had said for a long time now that Lee was the most underrated player in the league and I can see why. All season he has played some really solid stuff and I had no doubt at 3-2 down he was going to take that frame.
With Treddy now arrived, the order was put out for the second half. I made sure Lee and I played 3 and 4 because I was convinced we would take those frames. Treddy and JY would lead off and Neil and Kevin would take the last two frames.
Treddy played Jason Gilbert, and with another turning point not going in our favour, he went in off his last yellow with the black sitting in the open. 3-4.
JY missed a chance is his game and Steve Wallis proved that the clearance he took out in the first frame against John was no fluke when he repeated the dose. 3-5.
I then played my best frame of the season and helped prove to myself that my game is coming back together despite missing so much of the season. The practise I had with Neil the week before had me taking out some tricky finishes. I threw a lovely double into the middle of the finish to split my remaining yellows. Sweeny Todd couldn't have cut as well as I did on the last yellow and I played it with a lot of side to avoid the in off and cannon out the black. The black rattled but dropped to save me from snapping my cue in half having done all the hard work. 4-5.
Having sung his praises, I duly jinxed Lee as he lost a game that we all thought he had in the bag and we were 6-4 down. It all came down to rolling his final ball down the cushion and in off the Forrester’s players red. The balls collided and both came out from the pocket, but when the dust settled the red fell nicely and the frame was over. 4-6.
Neil then played a terrific frame under pressure. He looked shaky for the first few shots and it appeared to be getting away from him but he played two or three ‘percentage’ shots on his last few balls leaving Rav some tricky long pots that he continually missed. A nervy attempt to finish with two shots left the black near the top corner, but it was to Neil’s credit that he didn't let it get to him and still played solid pool. A couple of shots tapping the black and leaving some awful positions for Rav’s yellows finally forced a mistake. 5-6.
I put Neil and Kevin in the last few frames because I was confident that if we got to that point they would win. I was sure the Forrester’s would load the top half and that if it came down to it the boys would play the better pool to take the frames. Nothing was more evident than Kev’s frame to level the match. When we all thought he was going to play a rash shot on his final few yellows he played a couple of shots that put all the pressure on his opponent and made it 6-6. Without doubt he played the best two frames in a single night that I’ve seen him play for ten years and he did it at times where he and the team were under the most pressure. 6-6.
So it came to picking a decider and I wanted it. I played well, I took out a wonder finish and I knew Jason was playing for them as he had already told me. He also had said it was me he wanted to play. We had a team discussion to see if anyone else wanted it and Treddy put himself forward, JY agreed so I asked Treddy outright and he said he wanted to play. It occurred to me that it might be a good idea to put him in because of the fact Jason was expecting me and seeing Treddy instead might shake him so Andy got the nod. Of course Andy had played well in his only frame of the night as well.
To cut a short frame even shorter we were never in it from the moment Andy went in off on the break and the yellows were sitters. It took Jason three attempts and a centimetre away from going in off the black before it was finally over. 6-7 - we were out.
I was gutted - along with everyone else in the side – but especially so because I thought that the final frame should have been my moment to step in. But hindsight is a wonderful thing and I could easily have gone on and lost and swapping my name in here for Andy’s. I was choked packing up my cue and heading off.
If I was moaning I could say we never really had a run of the balls. We lost a couple of crucial frames in Swanny’s at 2-2 , Andy’s in-off against Jason at 3-3 , Neil’s black that just didn't drop at 1-1 and Lees second game. We just never got our noses in front after the first frame and were always playing catch up.
In taking away some positives from the season there are a few things. Firstly I enjoyed scribbling the blog; this isn’t my usual effort of slating people etc but in the circumstances it’s hardly surprising. I’ve spent five of the last six weeks working in Frankfurt and it was great to log on to the site and read Kevin’s reports in my absence. Also other people in the area have mentioned to me how much they enjoyed reading it all.
Secondly, I got what I wanted from the season (other than the finals day place). I wanted a team of guys who are a good laugh and that we could all have a beer with and enjoy the pool and that was the best part. Had we made the final I would have been away in Germany again but Brad would have been back to step in.
Thirdly it was nice to play with someone different for a change. The progress in Neil’s game since I saw him at the start of the season was fantastic, likewise getting to watch Lee since we used to play for the Irish club some 15 years ago (blimey, it was that long ago!). Swanny had a terrible run that a lack of confidence brings but he was the only one to be there every week and on time and you need that sort of reliability to keep a side going. It all went wrong from the moment he told Neil that he was unbeaten.
The committee are doing a job promoting pool in the area. The email system for getting the results and the ability to text them with the scores after the game is great. It’s nice to have tables and results mailed to you early in the week. They should really press on with getting some decent sponsorship with the local newspaper and the pubs.
The idea of having all four quarters at the same venue was a good one. I was a little sceptical at first that so many people at the one place would be a problem. Our table was not the best either with a pretty bad roll at one end although it never cost any frames. With three of the four quarters going to final frame deciders there was a lot of cheering and shouting going on towards the end of the night which made for a tense atmosphere. Definitely a good idea from the committee although Im not convinced that both the semis and final would be completed in one night especially after the Monday we have just had.
The redraw of the quarters was a mistake in my opinion. Not using the ranking system as they said they would at the start of the season made a mockery of trying to achieve a good/better average. As it was, two ties stayed the same (us and the Thatched game) and ironically the only team to get a worse draw was Racks who then got knocked out by the Thatched B.
Perhaps we should have wished for another draw after all!!
Anyway, hopefully we will be back to do the same again next summer. The advantage of the summer league is that with a random draw you get to play the better teams at some point rather than ploughing through the lower leagues as you do in the winter. We will keep the blog open and maybe find some bits and pieces to put in as most of us will still be playing either in Slough or Maidenhead. JY, Brad and I will be at Yarmouth in a months time for the UK team finals so maybe we will have something to write about there as well.
Finally, thanks to the rest of the team for a great couple of months. To Kev, for his 100% record as stand-in captain, for captaining/winning more games than I managed to do, and for setting up the blog; To Swanny, who made every match, and JY, who left early at every match; To Brad for sodding off on holiday at a crucial moment, and to Lee for his sterling performances each week; To Neil for proving my belief that he was as good as I thought and finally to Andy, for giving Gilbert the best night of his pool life!!
Cheers
Your Captain.
Note from the editor - well done for another accurate and wholly comprehensive captain's report. Thanks also for your unswerving support Keith, especially the text messages while you were away reminding us that "you bunch of homos better win tonight". See you next year.
Can I also echo Keith's comments about the boys - it was a pleasure to captain a team of such a high standard, hopefully more of the same next year?
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Quarter Final Preview
Well, the first part of our mission is now complete. Once we got over the early season wobble against the Thatched Cottage, we opened our legs and showed our class, pulling away in the final few games of the season.
Trailing TC with three games to go, we managed to 'pull the persuader' in the final furlong. Once we had been 'given the office' it was plain sailing. The most peculiar result of the season was that the Thatched almost didn't qualify after being beaten 7-5 by WAMDSAD in the final game!! The other 'major' result in the final week was that the Pond House managed to defeat Forresters 7-5 and take their division.
Confusion broke out at season end when the results and team averages were published with the wrong averages. Instead of being worked out on each teams final points total, they were worked out on the number of frames won. This meant the Thatched B were out altogether (hence the delay in getting the scores out to you all) until the error was noticed and corrected.
Now, assuming there are no surprises sprung by the committee (and in my experience it wouldn't surprise me) the top ranked teams were as follows:
1 Racks
2 Bell BAPL (the Bapto crowd from Bracknell)
3 Pond House (our Irish club boys)
4 Racks Pack (wallop!)
5 Forresters
6 Thatch A (Dogs Walton, Steve Adams, Lol, John Molley)
7 Thatch B (the cheese from our league)
8 NMCC/Cookham SC
The last place looks like being a play-off between North Maidenhead Cricket Club and Cookham Social, both of whom finished with the same averages. It just goes to show how every frame every week can be crucial - we managed to be ranked fourth overall after winning just three more frames than the Forresters.
The quarters come out like this:
Racks v NMCC/Cookham SC
Racks Pack v Forresters
Bell BAPL v Thatch B
Pond House v Thatch A
I think we picked up the best of the draw. The Forrester are good but I didn't want to be playing the Pond House (for obvious reasons) or the other Racks side.
The draw should feed through to the semis, so if (when) we win we will play the winner of the Racks versus NMCC/Cookham SC game - again, I think is the better of the two draws as we avoid BAPL. I think they are the strongest side.
Im not sure if it's neutral venues for the quarters - hopefully not as both the Racks teams are at home which would be a good atmosphere. The date for the games is Monday the 2nd October with both the semi finals and final the week after at The Bell.
If I get sometime whilst going to and fro from Germany I will try and organise a bit of a practice/drink session before the quarters for anyone interested. I will mail you all or ring around to see who fancies it.
Trailing TC with three games to go, we managed to 'pull the persuader' in the final furlong. Once we had been 'given the office' it was plain sailing. The most peculiar result of the season was that the Thatched almost didn't qualify after being beaten 7-5 by WAMDSAD in the final game!! The other 'major' result in the final week was that the Pond House managed to defeat Forresters 7-5 and take their division.
Confusion broke out at season end when the results and team averages were published with the wrong averages. Instead of being worked out on each teams final points total, they were worked out on the number of frames won. This meant the Thatched B were out altogether (hence the delay in getting the scores out to you all) until the error was noticed and corrected.
Now, assuming there are no surprises sprung by the committee (and in my experience it wouldn't surprise me) the top ranked teams were as follows:
1 Racks
2 Bell BAPL (the Bapto crowd from Bracknell)
3 Pond House (our Irish club boys)
4 Racks Pack (wallop!)
5 Forresters
6 Thatch A (Dogs Walton, Steve Adams, Lol, John Molley)
7 Thatch B (the cheese from our league)
8 NMCC/Cookham SC
The last place looks like being a play-off between North Maidenhead Cricket Club and Cookham Social, both of whom finished with the same averages. It just goes to show how every frame every week can be crucial - we managed to be ranked fourth overall after winning just three more frames than the Forresters.
The quarters come out like this:
Racks v NMCC/Cookham SC
Racks Pack v Forresters
Bell BAPL v Thatch B
Pond House v Thatch A
I think we picked up the best of the draw. The Forrester are good but I didn't want to be playing the Pond House (for obvious reasons) or the other Racks side.
The draw should feed through to the semis, so if (when) we win we will play the winner of the Racks versus NMCC/Cookham SC game - again, I think is the better of the two draws as we avoid BAPL. I think they are the strongest side.
Im not sure if it's neutral venues for the quarters - hopefully not as both the Racks teams are at home which would be a good atmosphere. The date for the games is Monday the 2nd October with both the semi finals and final the week after at The Bell.
If I get sometime whilst going to and fro from Germany I will try and organise a bit of a practice/drink session before the quarters for anyone interested. I will mail you all or ring around to see who fancies it.
Week 10 - Results & Final Tables
Week 10 Results
18-Sept-06
Thatch B 5 WAMDSAD 7
Racks Pack 9 Farmers Boy 3
Bell [bye]
TABLE
played (won) points
Racks Pack (8) 91
Thatch B (8) 76
Bell B (8) 50
Farmers Boy (8) 48
WAMDSAD (8) 34
TEAM AVERAGES
Brad Robinson 11/12 (91.6%)
Lee Greenwood 9/10 (90.0%)
Andy Treadwell 11/13 (84.6%)
John "I'm off then" Young 11/13 (84.6%)
Neil Cameron 9/12 (75.0%)
Kevin Southam 10/14 (71.4%)
Keith "Who?" Walls 7/10 (70%)
Mark Swann 5/13 (38.4%)
CHAMPIONS
A win was all that was required to ensure the league title came our way. Even without our captain Keith and a hospital-bound Andy Treadwell, playing the Farmers Boy at home is the kind of easy match we needed! Or was it...?
Captains Report
Kevin Southam
I guess we all know by now that we got the win we needed to secure the league title! But who was the wheat and who was the chaff for our final; league game of the season?
Things didnt start well - Andy pulled out suffering from an ear infection. With Keith in Germany and Brad working, we were down to five! An urgent call was put out for players and it was duly anwered by Mr Robinson - he would come donw, play his two frames, and leave.
The duty of getting us off on the good foot usually falls to Andy, but in his absence JY stepped up to the plate. He stuttered a little but never really looked in any danger. 1-0.
After Neil had secured his first frame, Brad was up for a double header and promptly rattled off his two wins in under ten minutes. Thanks for coming - 4-0
After Lee put in his customary grinding win (5-0) it was up to Swanny and myself to fudge things up.
Slugger Southam up first and, despite a well controlled game, I missed a difficult final black and Maltese Joe Farmers Lad pulled off the kind of five ball clearance where you think he is going to trip up on every ball. He didn't. 5-1
Swanny once again showed that he can do no right at the moment. If there is some bad luck to be had he is having it. 5-2
Having already played the first game of the second half (Brads secind game) we continued to play right through.
JY did his usual trick of potting six balls in one visit then taking another twenty to pot the last two! He eventually secured the win, and promptly cemented his 'shoot-and-leaves' reputation by leaving us to it! 6-2
I won my frame, followed by Swanny securing his double doughnut for the night (oo). 7-3
All that was left Lee to win his final frame, and Neil to show he is human after all and losing his, and the victory was complete, and the league was ours! 8-4
No contenders for pointless flair shot of the week this week, so instead I will take this opportunity to thank Brad for coming up with the goods in our hour of need, and vote him my "player of the night" with two frame wins that further proved how easy the game looks when you are watching good players.
Captains Report
Kevin Southam
I guess we all know by now that we got the win we needed to secure the league title! But who was the wheat and who was the chaff for our final; league game of the season?
Things didnt start well - Andy pulled out suffering from an ear infection. With Keith in Germany and Brad working, we were down to five! An urgent call was put out for players and it was duly anwered by Mr Robinson - he would come donw, play his two frames, and leave.
The duty of getting us off on the good foot usually falls to Andy, but in his absence JY stepped up to the plate. He stuttered a little but never really looked in any danger. 1-0.
After Neil had secured his first frame, Brad was up for a double header and promptly rattled off his two wins in under ten minutes. Thanks for coming - 4-0
After Lee put in his customary grinding win (5-0) it was up to Swanny and myself to fudge things up.
Slugger Southam up first and, despite a well controlled game, I missed a difficult final black and Maltese Joe Farmers Lad pulled off the kind of five ball clearance where you think he is going to trip up on every ball. He didn't. 5-1
Swanny once again showed that he can do no right at the moment. If there is some bad luck to be had he is having it. 5-2
Having already played the first game of the second half (Brads secind game) we continued to play right through.
JY did his usual trick of potting six balls in one visit then taking another twenty to pot the last two! He eventually secured the win, and promptly cemented his 'shoot-and-leaves' reputation by leaving us to it! 6-2
I won my frame, followed by Swanny securing his double doughnut for the night (oo). 7-3
All that was left Lee to win his final frame, and Neil to show he is human after all and losing his, and the victory was complete, and the league was ours! 8-4
No contenders for pointless flair shot of the week this week, so instead I will take this opportunity to thank Brad for coming up with the goods in our hour of need, and vote him my "player of the night" with two frame wins that further proved how easy the game looks when you are watching good players.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Week 9 - Results & Tables
Week 9 Results
11-Sept-06
WAMDSAD 2 Racks Packs 10
Thatch 9 Bell B 3
Farmers Boy [bye]
TABLE
Played (won) points
Racks Pack (7) 80
Thatch B (7) 71
Bell B (8) 50
Farmers Boy (7) 44
WAMDSAD (7) 24
With nine points between us and Thatch B, only a 12-0 victory for the Thatch, combined with us losing our final game, will allow them to take the league title from us. Any kind of draw or win against the Farmers Boy next week, or the Thatch losing, and we are champions.
Away versus WAMDSAD
Captains Report
Keith Walls
WAMDSAD or “the night I learnt to Wham da Sad.”
After a four week absence (during which the team had flattened all before them) the Mayor of Flair returned for one night only to take back the baton of captaincy. His German escapades had come to a temporary halt allowing him one night to get back on the baize. As it transpired it was to be a glorious night to return to the helm, or a glorious night for the helm to return, depending on your point of view.
While he was away, Slugger Judge Budge had steered the ship through some rocky waters and it was nice to return to see us top of the heap, king of the hill, the big cheese, number uno honchos...
As long as there were no slip ups, a decent win at the WAMDSAD would have us on the brink of securing the section title and put us into the quarters. The only other thing left to be decided would be the seedings which are dependant on the average points taken by each of the last eight sides.
With Brad not around we had seven and the Mayor took the opportunity to drop himself from the first six. Firstly he wanted to see at first hand how his troops had come on in the last few weeks, and secondly avoid the embarrassment of coming back and promptly getting beat!
The captain took a leaf out his numbers two's book (stop it!) by sending ‘Tredwell the dependable’ out to bat first. He broke, should have dished but didn't, but then another opening appeared and it was all over. And to be honest this set the tone for the evening. One after another JY, Judge Budge, Lee and the ever improving Neil rattled off their frames in similar fashion.
At the break it was 5-1 with Swanny the only player with a ‘ring doughnut’ next to his name after ‘knuckling’ a cut black into the middle.
Mark Swann 0
Lee graciously stepped down from the back six and it was a straight swop for the Mayor of Flair to come in and get his arm oiled up.
Treddy, JY, Neil and the Judge posted their doubles for the evening and the pressure fell onto Swanny to avoid losing twice. We have only had one double loss so far this season but it became two when Swanny lost his second game, turning his ring doughnut into a double Bagel.
The mayor stepped in and rattled a long red when the dish was on but then given a second opportunity to put this puppy to sleep he snaffled up the chance, and picked up a much needed win – smoke my pork it was 10-2 .
Very little else to report - It had a very ‘end of season’ feel to it. The job had been done last week against the Thatched Cottage Cheese. Neil bottled the only possible ‘Pointless Flair Shot of the Week’ when deciding to cut the black to the middle instead of taking the double. He missed the cut as well - there's a lesson to be learnt.
For the record, here's the err… records with one divisional game to go :
Brad ‘the most hated man in pool’ Robinson 9/10 (90%)
Lee ‘Captain Wannabe’ Greenwood 7/8 (87%)
Andy ‘Treddy’ Tredwell 11/13 (85%)
John ‘early exit’ Young 9/11 (81%)
Neil ‘Class of Cameron’ Cameron 8/10 (80%)
Kevin ‘Slugger’ Southam 9/12 (75%)
Keith ‘Mayor of Flair’ Walls 7/10 (70%)
Mark ‘The Flair’ Swann 5/11 (45%)
The top teams currently left according to rank are :
Racks A 12.65
Bell BAPL 12.33
Pond House C 12.30
Forresters 11.66
Racks Pack 11.42
Thatch A 10.55
Thatch B 10.14
Cookham 9.55
Bell D 9.37
In the final week of the season Pond House C play the Forresters, with the winner taking their division. If we can better the Forresters total by 2 we can nip fourth place in the seedings. The other interesting game is Cookham v Bell D, where the winner will finish second in the division and take the last quarter final place.
So the final game of the season has us hosting the Farmers Boy. The Captain will be missing in action once again and hopefully back for the quarters - which is by no means certain or wanted!
Keith Walls
WAMDSAD or “the night I learnt to Wham da Sad.”
After a four week absence (during which the team had flattened all before them) the Mayor of Flair returned for one night only to take back the baton of captaincy. His German escapades had come to a temporary halt allowing him one night to get back on the baize. As it transpired it was to be a glorious night to return to the helm, or a glorious night for the helm to return, depending on your point of view.
While he was away, Slugger Judge Budge had steered the ship through some rocky waters and it was nice to return to see us top of the heap, king of the hill, the big cheese, number uno honchos...
As long as there were no slip ups, a decent win at the WAMDSAD would have us on the brink of securing the section title and put us into the quarters. The only other thing left to be decided would be the seedings which are dependant on the average points taken by each of the last eight sides.
With Brad not around we had seven and the Mayor took the opportunity to drop himself from the first six. Firstly he wanted to see at first hand how his troops had come on in the last few weeks, and secondly avoid the embarrassment of coming back and promptly getting beat!
The captain took a leaf out his numbers two's book (stop it!) by sending ‘Tredwell the dependable’ out to bat first. He broke, should have dished but didn't, but then another opening appeared and it was all over. And to be honest this set the tone for the evening. One after another JY, Judge Budge, Lee and the ever improving Neil rattled off their frames in similar fashion.
At the break it was 5-1 with Swanny the only player with a ‘ring doughnut’ next to his name after ‘knuckling’ a cut black into the middle.
Mark Swann 0
Lee graciously stepped down from the back six and it was a straight swop for the Mayor of Flair to come in and get his arm oiled up.
Treddy, JY, Neil and the Judge posted their doubles for the evening and the pressure fell onto Swanny to avoid losing twice. We have only had one double loss so far this season but it became two when Swanny lost his second game, turning his ring doughnut into a double Bagel.
The mayor stepped in and rattled a long red when the dish was on but then given a second opportunity to put this puppy to sleep he snaffled up the chance, and picked up a much needed win – smoke my pork it was 10-2 .
Very little else to report - It had a very ‘end of season’ feel to it. The job had been done last week against the Thatched Cottage Cheese. Neil bottled the only possible ‘Pointless Flair Shot of the Week’ when deciding to cut the black to the middle instead of taking the double. He missed the cut as well - there's a lesson to be learnt.
For the record, here's the err… records with one divisional game to go :
Brad ‘the most hated man in pool’ Robinson 9/10 (90%)
Lee ‘Captain Wannabe’ Greenwood 7/8 (87%)
Andy ‘Treddy’ Tredwell 11/13 (85%)
John ‘early exit’ Young 9/11 (81%)
Neil ‘Class of Cameron’ Cameron 8/10 (80%)
Kevin ‘Slugger’ Southam 9/12 (75%)
Keith ‘Mayor of Flair’ Walls 7/10 (70%)
Mark ‘The Flair’ Swann 5/11 (45%)
The top teams currently left according to rank are :
Racks A 12.65
Bell BAPL 12.33
Pond House C 12.30
Forresters 11.66
Racks Pack 11.42
Thatch A 10.55
Thatch B 10.14
Cookham 9.55
Bell D 9.37
In the final week of the season Pond House C play the Forresters, with the winner taking their division. If we can better the Forresters total by 2 we can nip fourth place in the seedings. The other interesting game is Cookham v Bell D, where the winner will finish second in the division and take the last quarter final place.
So the final game of the season has us hosting the Farmers Boy. The Captain will be missing in action once again and hopefully back for the quarters - which is by no means certain or wanted!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Week 8 - Results & Tables
Week 8 Results
4-Sept-06
Bell B 7 - Farmers Boy 5
Racks Pack 10 - Thatch B 2
WAMDSAD [bye]
TABLE
played (won) points
Racks Pack (6) 67
Thatch B (6) 59
Bell B (7) 47
Farmers Boy (7) 44
WAMDSAD (6) 22
After last nights victory we are eight points clear of the Thatch cottage. Barring a mathmatical anomaly, victories in our last two games against the Farmers Boy and WAMDSAD will be enough to seal the divisional title.
NEXT GAME: Sept 11th away versus WAMDSAD
Home versus Thatch Cottage
As a pool team member, I am always aware of important games coming up - it starts praying on my mind days in advance. Will I play? Will I win? Will the team win? Did I feed the cat?
Our top-of-the-table clash with Thatched Cottage was no different - a must-win game if the division winning ambitions of our absent Captain are to be realised.
With seven players vying for six playing spots, someone was going to get some bad news and as stand-in captain the responsibility to disappoint someone fell to me. Our success or otherwise in this game would be the sole judge of the quality of that decision. Who should I play? In what order? Who should I drop? Do I even have a cat? For answers to these important questions, and more, read on...
Sub-junior-vice-under-captains report
Kevin 'Slugger' Southam
A fast start was needed if we weren't to be playing catch-up the whole evening, and they don't get much faster than Treaddy. Facilitated by his timely arrival and promoted from his usual spot at number six, he rattled off the first frame in two visits and double quick time. A perfect start and 1-0.
JY up next and a very similar story to frame one! He could have cleared from the break; he didn't, but some minor tactical to-ing and fro-ing saw him engineer a second opportunity that, like his burgers, he took with relish. 2-0.
At 2-0 down the last thing you want to see is a player of Brad Robinson's calibre taking to the baize. However the Cottage boys were obviously not aware of his mental anguish - my strategy of losing ten consecutive frames to him in the pre-match practice session had taken its toll, and he looked a shadow of his former self. At the end he was like the man who has just discovered his first grey hair - praying to dye. 2-1.
As sub-junior-vice-under-captain it was down to me to re-establish our two frame lead. A captains performance was required, and I gave one. Unfortunately it was performance of the captain of the Women's Institute tiddly wink team, but I scraped through to secure my win. 3-1.
Neil Cameron up next, and in the first of two great performances he played like a man who has been playing team pool all his life. Despite a few wobbles, he took out a finish under-pressure where lesser men would have crumbled. 4-1.
Up last was Lee. I had made the comment before the game that if we were in trouble at 3-2 down, there are not many players I would trust most than Lee Greenwood to grind out a frame. As it transpired he was under no great pressure, and he played & won accordingly. 5-1.
Decisions decisions!
Having only one loss in the first half, it seemed a straight-forward and reasonable decision to drop Brad in favour of the Swanny. At the start of the match Mark 'The Flair' Swann had taken my decision to drop him well, but in fairness to me at 5-1 I felt I had been vindicated. Complicating my decision whether or not to drop Brad was the fact that, despite winning my frame, I had played like a man with no thumbs.
Knowing that having Brad in the team playing badly is better than having me in it playing well I decided to drop myself, bring Swanny in to play, and take comfort from my 100% record for the evening!
Frame 7, and Treaddy took up where he left off in the first half. He should have cleared from the break, and this was playing on his mind when trying to make amends later in the frame. By the time he cue'd up for the crucial black his confidence and concentration had returned. 6-1
JY was next, and again showed why he was the man voted 'most incomprehensible blue language player' 3 years running. He followed that by justifying his undisputed title of 'most likely to leave early'. Another solid double from JY. 7-1.
By frame 9 Brad had recovered from the torment of his personal demons, and I would like to think he repaid a little of my faith in him by taking out a super finish, topping it off with his contender for pointless flair shot of the week. 8-1
Frame 10 and Swanny, perhaps a little rusty having not played first half, had his chances but couldn't convert. By this point though we were out of sight, and although he will be disappointed he can take comfort from the fact that it wasn't a crucial frame. 8-2.
Frame 11 - Lee sealed his double for the evening. I cant comment on it too much as I was engaged in some top-level, inter-team bonding during the course of this frame, but I can say, with a certain degree of certainty, that he was massive. 9-2
Last but not least was my nomination for player of the night Neil Cameron. Belighing his lack of experience he held himself together while taking out a super clearance. A pleasure to watch. 10-2
Captains pointless flair shot of the week
This weeks winner is Brad Robinson. By his own admission not cueing well it was inevitable that some kind of pointless flair would be required sooner or later, and so it turned out when, left with two balls over each of the two corner pockets and the black on the side cushion, he contrived to leave himself the perfect angle to double the black into the opposite centre by way of a ricochet off an opponents yellow. Flair? Maybe. Pointless? Undoubtedly.
On a personal note I would like to say 'superb performance all round boys'. We've gone from three points behind to eight points ahead. Victories in our final two matches should seal the divisional title.
Finally, a special shout this week goes out to Claire Dormer, making light work of despatching her new-found 'knee-trembler' nickname to the dustbin, with a super second half frame in her match for the other Racks team. And to Jenni - I have threatend to retire more times than I can remember - dont give up just yet!
NEXT GAME: Sept 11th, Away versus WAMDSAD.
Our top-of-the-table clash with Thatched Cottage was no different - a must-win game if the division winning ambitions of our absent Captain are to be realised.
With seven players vying for six playing spots, someone was going to get some bad news and as stand-in captain the responsibility to disappoint someone fell to me. Our success or otherwise in this game would be the sole judge of the quality of that decision. Who should I play? In what order? Who should I drop? Do I even have a cat? For answers to these important questions, and more, read on...
Sub-junior-vice-under-captains report
Kevin 'Slugger' Southam
A fast start was needed if we weren't to be playing catch-up the whole evening, and they don't get much faster than Treaddy. Facilitated by his timely arrival and promoted from his usual spot at number six, he rattled off the first frame in two visits and double quick time. A perfect start and 1-0.
JY up next and a very similar story to frame one! He could have cleared from the break; he didn't, but some minor tactical to-ing and fro-ing saw him engineer a second opportunity that, like his burgers, he took with relish. 2-0.
At 2-0 down the last thing you want to see is a player of Brad Robinson's calibre taking to the baize. However the Cottage boys were obviously not aware of his mental anguish - my strategy of losing ten consecutive frames to him in the pre-match practice session had taken its toll, and he looked a shadow of his former self. At the end he was like the man who has just discovered his first grey hair - praying to dye. 2-1.
As sub-junior-vice-under-captain it was down to me to re-establish our two frame lead. A captains performance was required, and I gave one. Unfortunately it was performance of the captain of the Women's Institute tiddly wink team, but I scraped through to secure my win. 3-1.
Neil Cameron up next, and in the first of two great performances he played like a man who has been playing team pool all his life. Despite a few wobbles, he took out a finish under-pressure where lesser men would have crumbled. 4-1.
Up last was Lee. I had made the comment before the game that if we were in trouble at 3-2 down, there are not many players I would trust most than Lee Greenwood to grind out a frame. As it transpired he was under no great pressure, and he played & won accordingly. 5-1.
Decisions decisions!
Having only one loss in the first half, it seemed a straight-forward and reasonable decision to drop Brad in favour of the Swanny. At the start of the match Mark 'The Flair' Swann had taken my decision to drop him well, but in fairness to me at 5-1 I felt I had been vindicated. Complicating my decision whether or not to drop Brad was the fact that, despite winning my frame, I had played like a man with no thumbs.
Knowing that having Brad in the team playing badly is better than having me in it playing well I decided to drop myself, bring Swanny in to play, and take comfort from my 100% record for the evening!
Frame 7, and Treaddy took up where he left off in the first half. He should have cleared from the break, and this was playing on his mind when trying to make amends later in the frame. By the time he cue'd up for the crucial black his confidence and concentration had returned. 6-1
JY was next, and again showed why he was the man voted 'most incomprehensible blue language player' 3 years running. He followed that by justifying his undisputed title of 'most likely to leave early'. Another solid double from JY. 7-1.
By frame 9 Brad had recovered from the torment of his personal demons, and I would like to think he repaid a little of my faith in him by taking out a super finish, topping it off with his contender for pointless flair shot of the week. 8-1
Frame 10 and Swanny, perhaps a little rusty having not played first half, had his chances but couldn't convert. By this point though we were out of sight, and although he will be disappointed he can take comfort from the fact that it wasn't a crucial frame. 8-2.
Frame 11 - Lee sealed his double for the evening. I cant comment on it too much as I was engaged in some top-level, inter-team bonding during the course of this frame, but I can say, with a certain degree of certainty, that he was massive. 9-2
Last but not least was my nomination for player of the night Neil Cameron. Belighing his lack of experience he held himself together while taking out a super clearance. A pleasure to watch. 10-2
Captains pointless flair shot of the week
This weeks winner is Brad Robinson. By his own admission not cueing well it was inevitable that some kind of pointless flair would be required sooner or later, and so it turned out when, left with two balls over each of the two corner pockets and the black on the side cushion, he contrived to leave himself the perfect angle to double the black into the opposite centre by way of a ricochet off an opponents yellow. Flair? Maybe. Pointless? Undoubtedly.
On a personal note I would like to say 'superb performance all round boys'. We've gone from three points behind to eight points ahead. Victories in our final two matches should seal the divisional title.
Finally, a special shout this week goes out to Claire Dormer, making light work of despatching her new-found 'knee-trembler' nickname to the dustbin, with a super second half frame in her match for the other Racks team. And to Jenni - I have threatend to retire more times than I can remember - dont give up just yet!
NEXT GAME: Sept 11th, Away versus WAMDSAD.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Week 7 - Results & Tables
Week 7 Results
24-Aug-06
WAMDSAD 5 Bell 7
Farmers Boy 3 Thatched Cottage 9
Racks Pack [bye]
Table
Team (played) points
Thatched Cottage (5) 57
Racks Pack (5) 54
Farmers Boy (6) 39
Bell B (6) 37
WAMDSAD (6) 22
We remain within touching distance of the top of the table thanks to the Farmer Boy taking three frames from our main rivals. Their 9-3 loss means that, as predicted, a win against the Thatched Cottage at home on September 4th will see us assume control, and leadership, of the division with two further games to play.
NEXT GAME: Sept 4th home versus Thatched Cottage.
Practice makes perfect?
Bye week for the racks pack so the hard core head to racks for some much-needed practice...
My Knight with Sir-Cumference.
Keith Walls
With no game on this week, Brad and I headed down to Racks for a fight to the death that left me bloody, but reasonably unscathed after a 20-16 defeat.
I was about 5 frames behind for most of the match. A couple of times I got close to him but came up dry on the break and he would dish up. Then more often than not he would take out a clearance on his break and I would be 5 frames down again in a matter of minutes. I cant believe how something as simple as potting a ball of the break could be so difficult. I kept a count and from my 18 breaks I only potted off 6 of them. I was 1 from 9 at one point! Tried all sorts of angles and speeds but still cant crack it.
Anyway enough of my bitching.
We watched some of our guys from our Thursday night Irish club team play Racks' ladies side and also my old Noctors team run the other Racks side close in a 7-5 defeat from 5-3 up. While watching the matches we were in a conversation with Jen and Claire ''the knee trembler'' about coping with pressure on an important shot. Since we don't have a report to put up this week I thought I would put up a story of something that I was reminded of during the chat.
Way back when I was first playing I ended up in a team called Brambles that, oddly enough, was playing from the Brambles Hotel. The team had qualified for the national 7-man championships and had the final regional qualifier at a pub in Harrow - the name escapes me. There were two tables in the pub and while we played on one table another match was taking place on the other side of the bar involving their 'B' team.
While you could have cut the tension with a knife on our table at 1-1 (first to 4) there was all sorts of shouting and noise coming from the other match. The captain of our opposition must have asked them a dozen times to keep it down and players were constantly having to stop when down on a shot because of some sort of distraction.
The bar itself had a strange design. When you walked through the double doors you were in a long corridor running to your left and right. In front of you was the bar , a room to the left with one table and a room to the right with the other table. The corridor wall itself was only up to waist height so when you were in either of the two pool rooms you could see the top halves of anyone walking to the gents on the left or the ladies on the right.
The captain apologised a number of times for the other guys behaviour but to be honest it wasn't as bad as some places we had been to and we told him not to worry. He appreciated it and during the break at 2-2 went on to say how "they've been banned from 4 leagues you know and they probably wont last long in this one the way they are going"
"Four leagues! What for? Fighting?"
"No," says the captain - "jousting"
"err.. What ?"
"Jousting - I'll show you"
The guy takes us to the back room bar and on one wall is about 20 trophies - champions of this, section winners of that blah blah blah - and on the opposite wall there is an equal amount of framed letters, different dates , different writing and all from pool committees. Most of them were along the same lines 'Dear Sir, our committee has found you guilty of breaking rule da da da with regards to the standards we expect in our league yada yada yada…and therefore we have taken the step of imposing a one year ban from the such and such league'. Three or four letters contained the lines 'jousting during pool matches' and the captain tried to tell us what it meant but his explanation made very little sense and he was too busy laughing anyway. We got a shout from the bar that the next frame was starting so we headed back in.
At 3-2 up and needing one more, there was a huge cheer next door - the B team had won their match and the other side was leaving so we stopped while everyone was moving about and waited until their side of the pub cleared.
After I had missed a black (some things never change) my opponent was looking to clear two yellows and the black for 3-3. After he sunk the first yellow and was cueing up on the second someone shouts out "TO YOUR STEEDS KNIGHTS" and two guys run to one end of the corridor and another two run to the other side but these two are standing on the other side of the corridor wall (which is waist high remember). Both guys jump onto their partner so theres a piggy-back thing going at each end of the bar. They look at each other and the first guy cries out "SIR MISS-A-LOT IM GOING TO KNOCKETH YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK"
To which the reply came "SIR PUKE-A-LOT , I WILL NAIL YOU TO THE WALL YOU SCURVY KNAVE"
"CHAAAAAAARGGE!!"
The two piggy-backed players then ran at each other on opposite sides of the corridor wall with a lowered pool cue in hand, and had an almighty smash in the middle of the bar - sending each other crashing to the floor. They had grabbed old pub cues off the wall and flipped them round so they had the fat white rubber end pointing forwards and clattered into each other; beer, bodies, cues and tables scattered all over the place.
Meantime on our table, the guy cueing up for the yellow misses it by a barn yard as the shout of "CHAAAARGE" went up and I tapped in for the win.
It turned out that they went through this every home game. They all had nicknames and whoever lost during the pool match had to joust, the loser then bought a round. The only other names I can remember was Sir Cumference, Sir Cum-cision and Sir Per-Trooper - a 'knight' who would put the Abba song on the jukebox when it was his turn.
Five contests later and Sir-Cumference, clutching his ribs after Sir Puke-A-Lot had caught him square in the mid-rift and sent reeling over a chair, was off to the bar to pay his forfeit.
At 3-2 down, and trying to pull out a finish to save your team in a national tournament, the last thing you need is a jousting match going on behind you - that's real pressure!
Next report - how Kev 'Slugger' Southam held his breath on the last three balls to win his match at Yarmouth and almost passed out!
Remember team, no match this coming bank holiday Monday. Next game is the Thatched in the big one at Racks on the 4th September. You may be pleased to hear that there is an almost 100% chance that the captain will be working in Germany and miss this crucial encounter.
Rumours that Kev and JY rang my boss to organise it are unconfirmed.
My Knight with Sir-Cumference.
Keith Walls
With no game on this week, Brad and I headed down to Racks for a fight to the death that left me bloody, but reasonably unscathed after a 20-16 defeat.
I was about 5 frames behind for most of the match. A couple of times I got close to him but came up dry on the break and he would dish up. Then more often than not he would take out a clearance on his break and I would be 5 frames down again in a matter of minutes. I cant believe how something as simple as potting a ball of the break could be so difficult. I kept a count and from my 18 breaks I only potted off 6 of them. I was 1 from 9 at one point! Tried all sorts of angles and speeds but still cant crack it.
Anyway enough of my bitching.
We watched some of our guys from our Thursday night Irish club team play Racks' ladies side and also my old Noctors team run the other Racks side close in a 7-5 defeat from 5-3 up. While watching the matches we were in a conversation with Jen and Claire ''the knee trembler'' about coping with pressure on an important shot. Since we don't have a report to put up this week I thought I would put up a story of something that I was reminded of during the chat.
Way back when I was first playing I ended up in a team called Brambles that, oddly enough, was playing from the Brambles Hotel. The team had qualified for the national 7-man championships and had the final regional qualifier at a pub in Harrow - the name escapes me. There were two tables in the pub and while we played on one table another match was taking place on the other side of the bar involving their 'B' team.
While you could have cut the tension with a knife on our table at 1-1 (first to 4) there was all sorts of shouting and noise coming from the other match. The captain of our opposition must have asked them a dozen times to keep it down and players were constantly having to stop when down on a shot because of some sort of distraction.
The bar itself had a strange design. When you walked through the double doors you were in a long corridor running to your left and right. In front of you was the bar , a room to the left with one table and a room to the right with the other table. The corridor wall itself was only up to waist height so when you were in either of the two pool rooms you could see the top halves of anyone walking to the gents on the left or the ladies on the right.
The captain apologised a number of times for the other guys behaviour but to be honest it wasn't as bad as some places we had been to and we told him not to worry. He appreciated it and during the break at 2-2 went on to say how "they've been banned from 4 leagues you know and they probably wont last long in this one the way they are going"
"Four leagues! What for? Fighting?"
"No," says the captain - "jousting"
"err.. What ?"
"Jousting - I'll show you"
The guy takes us to the back room bar and on one wall is about 20 trophies - champions of this, section winners of that blah blah blah - and on the opposite wall there is an equal amount of framed letters, different dates , different writing and all from pool committees. Most of them were along the same lines 'Dear Sir, our committee has found you guilty of breaking rule da da da with regards to the standards we expect in our league yada yada yada…and therefore we have taken the step of imposing a one year ban from the such and such league'. Three or four letters contained the lines 'jousting during pool matches' and the captain tried to tell us what it meant but his explanation made very little sense and he was too busy laughing anyway. We got a shout from the bar that the next frame was starting so we headed back in.
At 3-2 up and needing one more, there was a huge cheer next door - the B team had won their match and the other side was leaving so we stopped while everyone was moving about and waited until their side of the pub cleared.
After I had missed a black (some things never change) my opponent was looking to clear two yellows and the black for 3-3. After he sunk the first yellow and was cueing up on the second someone shouts out "TO YOUR STEEDS KNIGHTS" and two guys run to one end of the corridor and another two run to the other side but these two are standing on the other side of the corridor wall (which is waist high remember). Both guys jump onto their partner so theres a piggy-back thing going at each end of the bar. They look at each other and the first guy cries out "SIR MISS-A-LOT IM GOING TO KNOCKETH YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK"
To which the reply came "SIR PUKE-A-LOT , I WILL NAIL YOU TO THE WALL YOU SCURVY KNAVE"
"CHAAAAAAARGGE!!"
The two piggy-backed players then ran at each other on opposite sides of the corridor wall with a lowered pool cue in hand, and had an almighty smash in the middle of the bar - sending each other crashing to the floor. They had grabbed old pub cues off the wall and flipped them round so they had the fat white rubber end pointing forwards and clattered into each other; beer, bodies, cues and tables scattered all over the place.
Meantime on our table, the guy cueing up for the yellow misses it by a barn yard as the shout of "CHAAAARGE" went up and I tapped in for the win.
It turned out that they went through this every home game. They all had nicknames and whoever lost during the pool match had to joust, the loser then bought a round. The only other names I can remember was Sir Cumference, Sir Cum-cision and Sir Per-Trooper - a 'knight' who would put the Abba song on the jukebox when it was his turn.
Five contests later and Sir-Cumference, clutching his ribs after Sir Puke-A-Lot had caught him square in the mid-rift and sent reeling over a chair, was off to the bar to pay his forfeit.
At 3-2 down, and trying to pull out a finish to save your team in a national tournament, the last thing you need is a jousting match going on behind you - that's real pressure!
Next report - how Kev 'Slugger' Southam held his breath on the last three balls to win his match at Yarmouth and almost passed out!
Remember team, no match this coming bank holiday Monday. Next game is the Thatched in the big one at Racks on the 4th September. You may be pleased to hear that there is an almost 100% chance that the captain will be working in Germany and miss this crucial encounter.
Rumours that Kev and JY rang my boss to organise it are unconfirmed.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Home versus Bell B
A note from the editor
As editor-in-chief of the most influential blog since www.hotasianchicks.blogspot.com I have an awesome responsibility, both to the truth and to myself. The captain's reports are mailed to me on a weekly basis by Keith 'poetic license' Walls and go, largely un-edited, straight into the blog, through the worlds servers and pc's, and into the critical glare of the waiting public.
A painless process one would think. Painless, that is, until one becomes the first player of the season to lose two games in one night.
Should I have been nervous? Did the threats of a 'right royal slagging off' have any substance? Would I have to abandon my policy of non-sanitisation? Cueists - decide for yourself as we read the latest reportage...
Captains Report
Keith Walls
"With a two week break coming up, and the Thatched Cottage having a week off, it was a chance for the Racks Pack to take the division by the scruff of the neck by opening a can of whoop ass on the Bells B. This was the first game in the 'second half' of the season, and having beaten the Bell 11-1 in the opening game the captain was eyeing up a comfortable win to put the pressure on the Cottage in the race for the division title.
So with that in mind the captain went in first to bat and lost again. It was a little bit unlucky when he doubled the white off the side cushion, back across the table to knock his last yellow into the middle, only to see the white fly in straight after it. But that would overshadow his two pathetic attempts on the yellow when he should have cleared up to leave Chris Grant with 7 reds.
Mr Grant must rub his hands with glee when he sees 'K Walls' on the opposite side of the card to his name - you might recall he chinned the captain to save the 12-0 in the first match. He's going to be queuing up to play the captain everytime now and let me tell you, that queue seems to get longer and longer every week!
"Take a ticket son, we'll call you when its your turn"
In the second game JY was fortunate to beat Andi, who played well yet again. She should have won but after potting a long red the white shot up the table and managed to pot the black in the corner. It could have been 2-0 - it made it 1-1.
Brad 'its as good as a two-nil lead' Robinson huffed and puffed through his frame and finished it off with our winner for 'Pointless Flair Shot of the Week'. I don't care what anyone says - it was as pointless as it comes ! 2-1.
So after a momentary stumble things were taking shape and this was where we were going to kick on - wrong. Kev played a sitter of a black so slowly towards the pocket you would have thought he was playing it uphill. It was exactly the way you should play it with two shots - just a pity he only had one! Kerry, his lady opponent, needed no second invitation and cracked in the last few reds, followed by the black, and it was level at 2-2.
The captain got some extra punishment by reffing Neils frame. Neils lack of experience of the rules shone through as he struggled to get into a frame which got bogged down into a long tactical battle. Unfortunately neither he or his opponent had any idea what a tactical battle was and Neil managed to hang in there until his opponent made a mistake 3-2. It was actually a damn good win considering the score at the time and the position Neil found himself in with three pockets all covered.
Swanny pulled off an outrageous fluke in the next on his final red, but guilt got the better off him and he deliberately missed the black by so far it had to change postcode - surely he could not have been trying to pot it? 3-3.
A perfect second half?
A brilliant bit of team selection was needed to turn this thing around. The captain got off the quiz machine after thinking that "a Straw Boater" was the South African primeminister and a team huddle ensued. Having seen enough of the farce unfolding before him JY had legged it, and was replaced by the recently-arrived Treddy - a straight swap.
Up first, Treddy put in a superb error free break-and-dish, and Brad almost did the same but for some 'captain-like' positioning on his last ball. However he recovered and it was 5-3.
The captain then proved to be deadly when you give him 5 chances at a single yellow over the bag and Swanny temporarily changed his name to "Ron Seal" to make it 7-3 , what a lovely finish!
We were heading for a back six of straight wins for the second week running when an unnecessary (and frankly unwelcome) appearance from 'Judge Budge' made it 7-4. It was a double loss for Kev and our teams first one of the season. I've been told to go easy on him, so all I can say is that on his day he is a great player. Unfortunately his day is Wednesday and we play on Monday nights!!
Thankfully Neil continued his good form and took the last to give us an 8-4 win.
So not exactly the result we needed but we have two weeks off before the big clash with the Thatched that should decide the division. The final stages are seeded, so winning the group and avoiding one of the top teams is vital - we don't want to be relying on qualifying through a 'best runners up' spot.
POINTLESS FLAIR SHOT OF THE WEEK:
Brad Robinson - two yellows left, one near the middle , the other over the corner pocket. The one near the pocket is partially covered by a red and the black stuck on top of that. He cuts the yellow in, ploughs into the black that hits the red, that pots his last yellow and the red in turn comes back off the cushion flicking the black leaving it dead straight into the corner. I don't care what anyone says - that shot was not necessary!!
Next game - September 4th at home to the Thatched!"
Thank you for going easy on me Keith, my journalistic integrity remains intact - I needn't have worried! Not having a game for three weeks affords me time on the baize to eradicate the judge budg element of my game. As Keith rightly says, the key game is home versus the Thatched Cottage in three weeks. Win that and the league is as good as ours.
Wishing you all good cueing,
Kevin.
As editor-in-chief of the most influential blog since www.hotasianchicks.blogspot.com I have an awesome responsibility, both to the truth and to myself. The captain's reports are mailed to me on a weekly basis by Keith 'poetic license' Walls and go, largely un-edited, straight into the blog, through the worlds servers and pc's, and into the critical glare of the waiting public.
A painless process one would think. Painless, that is, until one becomes the first player of the season to lose two games in one night.
Should I have been nervous? Did the threats of a 'right royal slagging off' have any substance? Would I have to abandon my policy of non-sanitisation? Cueists - decide for yourself as we read the latest reportage...
Captains Report
Keith Walls
"With a two week break coming up, and the Thatched Cottage having a week off, it was a chance for the Racks Pack to take the division by the scruff of the neck by opening a can of whoop ass on the Bells B. This was the first game in the 'second half' of the season, and having beaten the Bell 11-1 in the opening game the captain was eyeing up a comfortable win to put the pressure on the Cottage in the race for the division title.
So with that in mind the captain went in first to bat and lost again. It was a little bit unlucky when he doubled the white off the side cushion, back across the table to knock his last yellow into the middle, only to see the white fly in straight after it. But that would overshadow his two pathetic attempts on the yellow when he should have cleared up to leave Chris Grant with 7 reds.
Mr Grant must rub his hands with glee when he sees 'K Walls' on the opposite side of the card to his name - you might recall he chinned the captain to save the 12-0 in the first match. He's going to be queuing up to play the captain everytime now and let me tell you, that queue seems to get longer and longer every week!
"Take a ticket son, we'll call you when its your turn"
In the second game JY was fortunate to beat Andi, who played well yet again. She should have won but after potting a long red the white shot up the table and managed to pot the black in the corner. It could have been 2-0 - it made it 1-1.
Brad 'its as good as a two-nil lead' Robinson huffed and puffed through his frame and finished it off with our winner for 'Pointless Flair Shot of the Week'. I don't care what anyone says - it was as pointless as it comes ! 2-1.
So after a momentary stumble things were taking shape and this was where we were going to kick on - wrong. Kev played a sitter of a black so slowly towards the pocket you would have thought he was playing it uphill. It was exactly the way you should play it with two shots - just a pity he only had one! Kerry, his lady opponent, needed no second invitation and cracked in the last few reds, followed by the black, and it was level at 2-2.
The captain got some extra punishment by reffing Neils frame. Neils lack of experience of the rules shone through as he struggled to get into a frame which got bogged down into a long tactical battle. Unfortunately neither he or his opponent had any idea what a tactical battle was and Neil managed to hang in there until his opponent made a mistake 3-2. It was actually a damn good win considering the score at the time and the position Neil found himself in with three pockets all covered.
Swanny pulled off an outrageous fluke in the next on his final red, but guilt got the better off him and he deliberately missed the black by so far it had to change postcode - surely he could not have been trying to pot it? 3-3.
A perfect second half?
A brilliant bit of team selection was needed to turn this thing around. The captain got off the quiz machine after thinking that "a Straw Boater" was the South African primeminister and a team huddle ensued. Having seen enough of the farce unfolding before him JY had legged it, and was replaced by the recently-arrived Treddy - a straight swap.
Up first, Treddy put in a superb error free break-and-dish, and Brad almost did the same but for some 'captain-like' positioning on his last ball. However he recovered and it was 5-3.
The captain then proved to be deadly when you give him 5 chances at a single yellow over the bag and Swanny temporarily changed his name to "Ron Seal" to make it 7-3 , what a lovely finish!
We were heading for a back six of straight wins for the second week running when an unnecessary (and frankly unwelcome) appearance from 'Judge Budge' made it 7-4. It was a double loss for Kev and our teams first one of the season. I've been told to go easy on him, so all I can say is that on his day he is a great player. Unfortunately his day is Wednesday and we play on Monday nights!!
Thankfully Neil continued his good form and took the last to give us an 8-4 win.
So not exactly the result we needed but we have two weeks off before the big clash with the Thatched that should decide the division. The final stages are seeded, so winning the group and avoiding one of the top teams is vital - we don't want to be relying on qualifying through a 'best runners up' spot.
POINTLESS FLAIR SHOT OF THE WEEK:
Brad Robinson - two yellows left, one near the middle , the other over the corner pocket. The one near the pocket is partially covered by a red and the black stuck on top of that. He cuts the yellow in, ploughs into the black that hits the red, that pots his last yellow and the red in turn comes back off the cushion flicking the black leaving it dead straight into the corner. I don't care what anyone says - that shot was not necessary!!
Next game - September 4th at home to the Thatched!"
Thank you for going easy on me Keith, my journalistic integrity remains intact - I needn't have worried! Not having a game for three weeks affords me time on the baize to eradicate the judge budg element of my game. As Keith rightly says, the key game is home versus the Thatched Cottage in three weeks. Win that and the league is as good as ours.
Wishing you all good cueing,
Kevin.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Week 5 results & Tables
Week 5 Results
07-Aug-06
WAMDSAD 3 - Thatch B 9
Farmers Boy 3 - Racks Pack 9
Bell B [bye]
Table
Team (played) points
Thatch B (4) 45
Racks Pack (4) 43
Bell B (4) 23
Farmers Boy (4) 22
WAMDSAD (4) 16
We're at the half-way stage of the season and, courtesy of their 7-5 victory over us, the Thatch B remain two points clear.
In the race to take part in the cup knockout at the end of the season, we are in prime position. Continued good form against the 'lesser' teams of our division will keep us within a few points of the Thatch. Our home game against them in a few weeks could be crucial - going into that match with the margin at less than five points gives us the opportunity assume league leadership with a victory.
Notwithstanding that we have the highest average (in terms of frames/match) of any of the second place teams and thus even second place should see us qualify for the knock-out competition.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
They say you hurt the ones you love the most. If that is indeed true then there must be a lot of love in this, the team that takes barracking to a new level!
Cueists of the world rejoice! For as Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead in the Gospel of John, so let the Gospel of Budg show that Mr Walls is well and truly back.
Captains Report
Keith Walls
"At 6.45pm the captains ulcer started playing up again - Neil "the newcomer" rang to say he wasn't going to make it unless we were absolutely positively desperate. Swanny had already called in sick, so with two men down I was beginning to regret my masterstroke of telling JY not to bother coming as "we had 6 players and it would make team selection easy"!
In the end Brads tactful phone call to JY telling him to "get his arse down here now" meant that we did scrape together the necessary six players. So off we trooped to see what the Farmers Boy had for us.
Until then this is your cue correspondent signing off.
Cueists of the world rejoice! For as Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead in the Gospel of John, so let the Gospel of Budg show that Mr Walls is well and truly back.
Captains Report
Keith Walls
"At 6.45pm the captains ulcer started playing up again - Neil "the newcomer" rang to say he wasn't going to make it unless we were absolutely positively desperate. Swanny had already called in sick, so with two men down I was beginning to regret my masterstroke of telling JY not to bother coming as "we had 6 players and it would make team selection easy"!
In the end Brads tactful phone call to JY telling him to "get his arse down here now" meant that we did scrape together the necessary six players. So off we trooped to see what the Farmers Boy had for us.
The captain showed his high altitude [should that be 'attitude' - slugger] training in Northern Ireland had paid off by leading out a nice Fleetwood Mac clearance in the opening frame. ("Fleetwood Mac" - one where the player takes the most complicated and bizarre route to finish a basic clearance, normally accompanied by the rest of the team singing the Fleetwood Mac hit "You can go your own way").
Treddy went on second and grabbed the opportunity with both hands, subsequently dropped it, found it again, but ultimately forgot where he left it and it was 1-1. He was not helped by the 10 minutes it took to work out who was on what colour. Some drunken monkey stuck his oar in when it was not wanted or needed and confused everybody. He wasn't even playing, just passing painfully through like an accidentally swallowed marble.
Brad shrugged off the humiliating pastings he had taken from "the duke of fluke" and "the slugger" during practice at Racks to clinch the third and things were back on track 2-1. With The Slugger putting down his marker for the Pointless Flair shot of the week award during his victory, things were looking good at 3-1.
But 3-1 became 3-2 when Lee (who was back from a three week break) took some time out from his frame to cook up a giant flange and present it to all of us on the table!
JY justified his inclusion by taking frame six and then justified his reputation by losing frame seven - 4-3!!!
It was time for the gas to be stepped on and Brad had a date with Destiny. In fact she was waiting for him in the Honey Pot and he knew that only a quick victory would do as he had to clear up and get his cue into JYs car before he drove off to save him carrying it into the bar. The crockery was out and the dish was lovely - 5-3.
Kev managed to get his double when his opponent played one of the worst tactical frames in history. With the black hovering over the middle he cleverly maneuvered his yellow right on top of it. Then, heeding no warnings from that shot he did the unthinkable and put yet another one of his yellows on top of that. The whole lot was balancing delicately like a trifle on a boiled egg and all that remained was for him to complete his own suicide. In one of those car crash moments, when you know you should look away but you just have to see what happens, and with no regard for his own safety or that of his reputation, he ignored the three remaining yellows and buried the black in a three ball plant attempting to clear up the mess he had left previously. 6-3.
Lee redeemed himself with a confident finish in the next and Treddy followed suit with another fine clearance. It was left to the captain, the Duke of Fluke himself, to put this puppy to sleep and Tony Gibbons was the victim of the coup de grace.
At one point it was 4-3, the next it was 9-3 and job done. The pressure is back on the Thatched Cottage at the top of the table! Handshakes exchanged, cards signed and now it was off to Racks to right the world.
A five minute walk back into town turned into the longest five minutes of the captains life as he was abused all the way home by Brad and the slugger whinging about his team selection. Apparently I should have played Treddy last so he would have to stay to the end and could have given us a lift back to town so they could get to the HP quicker!
A quick one in Racks and after heavy persuasion the captain got his first taste of the yellow building, accompanied by Maidenheads answer to Crockett and Tubbs. Ironically one of the pool committee was in there so that saved me getting my cards stamped - which is more that can be said for the other two!
Next week - home to the Bell!
THE CAPTAINS POINTLESS FLAIR SHOT OF THE WEEK
Runaway winner this week - Kevin 'the slugger' Southam. With the match finally balanced at 2-2 a fluked snooker gives him two shots with one yellow and the black left. After sinking the yellow he is faced with the black on its spot and the white about 12 inches up towards the middle of the table. He couldn't take the black into the bottom left because a red covered the pocket; the shot was to double into the vicinity of top left and then use the second shot to finish it off.
Or, you could just slam the double straight in, as hard as possible, and to hell with the second shot."
Once again thanks for the report Keith. Next weeks match is at home versus the Bell. We have reached the halfway stage now, and once all results are known we'll have a better idea of where we stand in relation to teams in other divisions. Keep it here for the results and tables later this week.Until then this is your cue correspondent signing off.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Supplementary report
A polite reminder from the returning Captain
"While the captain was relaxing in a Northern Ireland bar, he was disturbed to read in the Irish Times of rumours that certain members of his team had been seen once again heading off to the HP - and they weren't talking sauce (or maybe they were).
He had also read in dispatches that half the team were now taking Tuesday off work next week in order to turn next Monday night into 'the half-sister of all benders'.
Team members are politely reminded that the two legs they should focus on each week are not those carrying around the ample bosom of 'Roxanne' or 'Cherry'.
Next Monday we should put aside all erotic diversions, and instead concentrate our efforts on humping the farmers boy."
"While the captain was relaxing in a Northern Ireland bar, he was disturbed to read in the Irish Times of rumours that certain members of his team had been seen once again heading off to the HP - and they weren't talking sauce (or maybe they were).
He had also read in dispatches that half the team were now taking Tuesday off work next week in order to turn next Monday night into 'the half-sister of all benders'.
Team members are politely reminded that the two legs they should focus on each week are not those carrying around the ample bosom of 'Roxanne' or 'Cherry'.
Next Monday we should put aside all erotic diversions, and instead concentrate our efforts on humping the farmers boy."
Week 4 - Results & Tables
Week 4 Results
01-Aug-06
Racks Pack 9 - WAMDSAD A 3
Bell B 5 - Thatch B 7
Farmers Boy [bye]
Table
Team (played) points
Thatch B (3) 33
Racks Pack (3) 31
Bell B (4) 23
Farmers Boy (3) 19
WAMDSAD A (3) 13
"With the Thatch B taking only 7 frames in their win over the Bell B (compared to our 11 in the first game of the season), our 9-3 victory over WAMDSAD takes us to within 2 points of the summit.
Our gameweek 8 home game against the Thatch B could be crucial. Assuming both teams win all their other games, even a 7-5 win - and thus a 5 point swing - could be enough to see us win the division and get in to the play-offs."
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Home versus WAMDSAD
And so it was that a rudderless, leaderless Racks Pack team pitched up for their first home game of the season without its captain and inspiration, Judge Keith Walls. Further encouragement could be gained from the fact that the other Racks team, also at home that night, was a team of ladies – surely Southam and all would be in their element?
This weeks Captains report comes from the stand in captain; a man of such calibre and reputation that the only thing more minor than his pool is his schlong.
Captain’s Report
Kevin Southam
Good news and bad news for week four of the Racks Pack demolition of the Maidenhead Summer League Division E. Without Lee G and Judge Budge we were down to the bare six for our first home game of the season. This was tempered by the return of Brad Robinson – we were as good as 2-0 up before the start!
The Young…
Needless to say 8PM rolls around and we only have five players. First decision made – Tready is on last! With an hours free practice on two tables everyone was well and truly warmed up.
My theory of team selection is simple - put your best player on third and you’ll never be more than 2-1 down. It was a close call but BR edged it by virtue of the fact the rest of us are complete dross.
My keen observation of the practice hour evidenced a break from form. JY actually looked like he could hold a cue and thus was thrust into the pressure-cooker atmosphere of frame one. He delivered his best game of the season for 1-0.
Swanny ‘flair master general’ and Brad followed, and by the time Tready put in an appearance the boys had secured a 3-0 lead. Brad showed a class the rest of us lack by astutely observing that the key to victory against a young and inexperienced opponent was to leave him as many opportunities to clear up as possible, thus crushing his confidence with each successive miss. Chalk one up for the master tactician – ruthless.
With myself and Tready also winning in the first half, the only blip on the radar was Neil’s loss giving us a 5-1 margin at half time.
…and the restless
Tready asked for a time out from holding up the middle order, and thus a vacancy was created for his spot at position 7. JY was still buzzing from his first half performance, and even before I could ask he had volunteered his services as battering ram. Another good performance and 6-1.
Neil was up next to prove to us all that his first half performance was a mere hiccup, and had JY hung around I am sure he would been among those congratulating Neil on a decisive win and 7-1. Rumours of a smash-and-grab raid at KFC abound.
In the next Brad gave more weight to his reputation as the most reviled man in pool by securing all six of his opponents balls around the corner pocket covered by his black. He toyed. She folded. In the end she was just prayin’ to die. 8-1.
With only one bad shot in my frame I ruined our chances of an 11-Neil victory, and not to be outdone Tready also showed that it was possible to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Last game, and having watched Brad in the first half, Swanny was aiming to deepen the psychological scars of our young pretender and duly induced a classic (quite literally) schoolboy error. After a chorus of “go your own way” he left his opponent with the black hanging over the middle pocket but an obvious in-off in the top corner. Firm striking saw him deposit the black in the middle bag - but the white careered towards the top corner, rapping the knuckle of the pocket, the rubber on the back of the pocket, ending up on the floor. Cries of ‘unlucky’ were mixed with ‘get in there’ for 9-3.
With Keith not around there were no obvious contenders for pointless flair shot of the week, and we all look forward to seeing him make up for lost time next week.
Next Game: away versus The Farmers Boy.
This weeks Captains report comes from the stand in captain; a man of such calibre and reputation that the only thing more minor than his pool is his schlong.
Captain’s Report
Kevin Southam
Good news and bad news for week four of the Racks Pack demolition of the Maidenhead Summer League Division E. Without Lee G and Judge Budge we were down to the bare six for our first home game of the season. This was tempered by the return of Brad Robinson – we were as good as 2-0 up before the start!
The Young…
Needless to say 8PM rolls around and we only have five players. First decision made – Tready is on last! With an hours free practice on two tables everyone was well and truly warmed up.
My theory of team selection is simple - put your best player on third and you’ll never be more than 2-1 down. It was a close call but BR edged it by virtue of the fact the rest of us are complete dross.
My keen observation of the practice hour evidenced a break from form. JY actually looked like he could hold a cue and thus was thrust into the pressure-cooker atmosphere of frame one. He delivered his best game of the season for 1-0.
Swanny ‘flair master general’ and Brad followed, and by the time Tready put in an appearance the boys had secured a 3-0 lead. Brad showed a class the rest of us lack by astutely observing that the key to victory against a young and inexperienced opponent was to leave him as many opportunities to clear up as possible, thus crushing his confidence with each successive miss. Chalk one up for the master tactician – ruthless.
With myself and Tready also winning in the first half, the only blip on the radar was Neil’s loss giving us a 5-1 margin at half time.
…and the restless
Tready asked for a time out from holding up the middle order, and thus a vacancy was created for his spot at position 7. JY was still buzzing from his first half performance, and even before I could ask he had volunteered his services as battering ram. Another good performance and 6-1.
Neil was up next to prove to us all that his first half performance was a mere hiccup, and had JY hung around I am sure he would been among those congratulating Neil on a decisive win and 7-1. Rumours of a smash-and-grab raid at KFC abound.
In the next Brad gave more weight to his reputation as the most reviled man in pool by securing all six of his opponents balls around the corner pocket covered by his black. He toyed. She folded. In the end she was just prayin’ to die. 8-1.
With only one bad shot in my frame I ruined our chances of an 11-Neil victory, and not to be outdone Tready also showed that it was possible to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Last game, and having watched Brad in the first half, Swanny was aiming to deepen the psychological scars of our young pretender and duly induced a classic (quite literally) schoolboy error. After a chorus of “go your own way” he left his opponent with the black hanging over the middle pocket but an obvious in-off in the top corner. Firm striking saw him deposit the black in the middle bag - but the white careered towards the top corner, rapping the knuckle of the pocket, the rubber on the back of the pocket, ending up on the floor. Cries of ‘unlucky’ were mixed with ‘get in there’ for 9-3.
With Keith not around there were no obvious contenders for pointless flair shot of the week, and we all look forward to seeing him make up for lost time next week.
Next Game: away versus The Farmers Boy.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Week 3 - Report & Table
The assassination of Kennedy. Live Aid. Events that perhaps would not be fully appreciated until the passage of time revealed their true significance. In twenty years will you remember where you were when Neil Cameron debuted for the Racks Pack? Twenty minutes?
Rejoice fellow sports fans - once again we have the pleasure of a Captains report from Mr Keith Walls.
Captains Report
When in off is in off!
"After being the only loser in the first week the captain had to sort his game out. He had been playing worse than a 3-string guitar. The 'bye' week off allowed him some practice with Neil 'the newcomer' and he had his sights set on a surprise appearance at the Berkshire open last Sunday.
It sounded like the perfect way to get back that competitive edge that had suddenly upped sticks, took the last of the housekeeping money and moved to open a cantina in Mexico. Looking to his team mates for help I asked Brad about the competition , "was it tough?" "am I out of my depth?" "would it be good for me just to go and spend the day at the tables?" After him telling me for the fifth time not to bother I decided to seek a second opinion so I texted Andy Brant from the my Thursday night Irish Club team.
"Andy, what time does the Berkshire Open start tomorrow - I was thinking of entering"
Two minutes later and the beeping of the second opinion arrived : (this is exactly as it read)
"Aint got a clue m8, prob wont start till bout 12 I wod of fort but don't waste ur money m8, u R poo"
Terrific.
So the cue went back into the cupboard and only saw daylight Monday night as we took on the toughest of the teams in our section - the Thatched Cottage.
Brad was awol in London and Lee was still sunning himself abroad so we had the bare six. The thought of the captain playing twice was a devastating blow to the Racks Pack morale but despite this he made the bold move of going first.
Five minutes later and eyeing up his last red it looked like another captaincy masterstroke as long as he avoided the obvious in-off to the middle. Mission accomplished- the captain's deep screw 'arc'd' the white into the top corner for 0-1.
Not to be outdone the team then tried to see who could produce the best in off of the night. JY went on next and it took him almost 13 attempts on the black before he managed to go in off and lose the frame. Eyeing up attempt number 13 on the black, he pulled a 'Babe Ruth' by pointing his cue at the middle pocket (where he thought the white might go). Luckily he was wrong (he missed the black on the way down, clipping it on the way back) but made amends later in the frame by sinking the white dead-weight in the middle for 0-2.
Kev got us off the mark (The captain will leave Kev to describe his frames) for 1-2.
Swanny lost for 1-3 and then Neil (who must have been wondering what the hell he had let himself in for, and was it too late to sign for someone else) hit an 'evil Knieval' jump shot for 1-4.
Tready restored some sanity to proceedings for 2-4 and then went back on straight away to show that he too enjoyed nothing better than giving two shots away. Rather than settle for an old-fashioned in off like the rest of us, he preferred the four ball plant that knocked his opponents red in from 3 feet. 2-5
The captain then defied the odds by actually winning one and potting a long black that used to be routine when he could play. Considering that you wouldn't trust him to put a space hopper into a skip, no one fancied him on the black, least of all himself- but somehow he got it. 3-5
JY made it 4-5 and we were almost back in it. But a loss from the Slugger was followed by yet another in off the black from Swanny. It was the absolute banker - a dead cert, stick on, empty the wheelbarrow, mortgage job in-off, and Swanny duly sent the punters home happy as he nailed it ! 4-7, and it was left to Neil 'the newcomer' to win the last for a 5-7 defeat.
To cap a great night for the captain, him and Neil went back to Racks for another beer and some more pool only to find that he still owed Racks five pounds from the earlier bar bill that he forgot to pay.
Next week our first home game of the season. They will be dancing in the streets of Maidenhead because the Captain is off for some high altitude training in Northern Ireland. He therefore passes on the baton of budge to the SluggerĂ‚…
THE CAPTAINS 'POINTLESS FLAIR' SHOT OF THE WEEK :
This week theawardd goes to Neil, who capped a decent debut by doubling the black to win his first career frame in the last frame of the night. Has anyone ever looked so downhearted after winning their first ever frame?"
Nice one Keith. My own games were, of course, a master-class in mediocrity. The first was solid enough, if perhaps uninspring. I only played one bad shot in the second frame (ironically potting a ball when trying to cover the pocket) but it cost me the game and the rest is history.
I am looking forward to taking over the reigns if only temporarily. A good result next week against the bottom team of the division should put us on course to qualify for the 'champions league'.
Week 3 RESULTS
24-Jul-06
Farmers B 5 Bell B 7
Thatch B 7 Racks Pack 5
WAMSDAD A [bye]
TABLE
Team (played) points
Thatch B (2) 23
Racks Pack (2) 19
Farmers Boy (3) 19
Bell B (3) 17
WAMSDAD A (2) 10
Rejoice fellow sports fans - once again we have the pleasure of a Captains report from Mr Keith Walls.
Captains Report
When in off is in off!
"After being the only loser in the first week the captain had to sort his game out. He had been playing worse than a 3-string guitar. The 'bye' week off allowed him some practice with Neil 'the newcomer' and he had his sights set on a surprise appearance at the Berkshire open last Sunday.
It sounded like the perfect way to get back that competitive edge that had suddenly upped sticks, took the last of the housekeeping money and moved to open a cantina in Mexico. Looking to his team mates for help I asked Brad about the competition , "was it tough?" "am I out of my depth?" "would it be good for me just to go and spend the day at the tables?" After him telling me for the fifth time not to bother I decided to seek a second opinion so I texted Andy Brant from the my Thursday night Irish Club team.
"Andy, what time does the Berkshire Open start tomorrow - I was thinking of entering"
Two minutes later and the beeping of the second opinion arrived : (this is exactly as it read)
"Aint got a clue m8, prob wont start till bout 12 I wod of fort but don't waste ur money m8, u R poo"
Terrific.
So the cue went back into the cupboard and only saw daylight Monday night as we took on the toughest of the teams in our section - the Thatched Cottage.
Brad was awol in London and Lee was still sunning himself abroad so we had the bare six. The thought of the captain playing twice was a devastating blow to the Racks Pack morale but despite this he made the bold move of going first.
Five minutes later and eyeing up his last red it looked like another captaincy masterstroke as long as he avoided the obvious in-off to the middle. Mission accomplished- the captain's deep screw 'arc'd' the white into the top corner for 0-1.
Not to be outdone the team then tried to see who could produce the best in off of the night. JY went on next and it took him almost 13 attempts on the black before he managed to go in off and lose the frame. Eyeing up attempt number 13 on the black, he pulled a 'Babe Ruth' by pointing his cue at the middle pocket (where he thought the white might go). Luckily he was wrong (he missed the black on the way down, clipping it on the way back) but made amends later in the frame by sinking the white dead-weight in the middle for 0-2.
Kev got us off the mark (The captain will leave Kev to describe his frames) for 1-2.
Swanny lost for 1-3 and then Neil (who must have been wondering what the hell he had let himself in for, and was it too late to sign for someone else) hit an 'evil Knieval' jump shot for 1-4.
Tready restored some sanity to proceedings for 2-4 and then went back on straight away to show that he too enjoyed nothing better than giving two shots away. Rather than settle for an old-fashioned in off like the rest of us, he preferred the four ball plant that knocked his opponents red in from 3 feet. 2-5
The captain then defied the odds by actually winning one and potting a long black that used to be routine when he could play. Considering that you wouldn't trust him to put a space hopper into a skip, no one fancied him on the black, least of all himself- but somehow he got it. 3-5
JY made it 4-5 and we were almost back in it. But a loss from the Slugger was followed by yet another in off the black from Swanny. It was the absolute banker - a dead cert, stick on, empty the wheelbarrow, mortgage job in-off, and Swanny duly sent the punters home happy as he nailed it ! 4-7, and it was left to Neil 'the newcomer' to win the last for a 5-7 defeat.
To cap a great night for the captain, him and Neil went back to Racks for another beer and some more pool only to find that he still owed Racks five pounds from the earlier bar bill that he forgot to pay.
Next week our first home game of the season. They will be dancing in the streets of Maidenhead because the Captain is off for some high altitude training in Northern Ireland. He therefore passes on the baton of budge to the SluggerĂ‚…
THE CAPTAINS 'POINTLESS FLAIR' SHOT OF THE WEEK :
This week theawardd goes to Neil, who capped a decent debut by doubling the black to win his first career frame in the last frame of the night. Has anyone ever looked so downhearted after winning their first ever frame?"
Nice one Keith. My own games were, of course, a master-class in mediocrity. The first was solid enough, if perhaps uninspring. I only played one bad shot in the second frame (ironically potting a ball when trying to cover the pocket) but it cost me the game and the rest is history.
I am looking forward to taking over the reigns if only temporarily. A good result next week against the bottom team of the division should put us on course to qualify for the 'champions league'.
Week 3 RESULTS
24-Jul-06
Farmers B 5 Bell B 7
Thatch B 7 Racks Pack 5
WAMSDAD A [bye]
TABLE
Team (played) points
Thatch B (2) 23
Racks Pack (2) 19
Farmers Boy (3) 19
Bell B (3) 17
WAMSDAD A (2) 10
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Results & Tables - Weeks 1 & 2
Week 1 Results
10-Jul-06
WAMDSAD A 3 Farmers Boy 9
Bell B 1 Racks Pack11
Thatch B [bye]
Week 2 Results
17-Jul-06
Bell B 6 WAMDSAD A 6
Farmers Boy 2 Thatch B 10
Racks Pack [bye]
Table - team (played) points
Racks Pack (1) 14
The Farmers Boy (2) 14
Thatch B (1) 13
WAMSDAD A (2) 10
Bell B (2) 8
Thursday, July 13, 2006
The Racks Pack Unleashed
INTRODUCTION
by Kevin Southam
As someone who aspires to be budget, I know when someone is better than me. I see it all the time. Almost everywhere in fact.
The point I am trying to make is I know talent when I see it. There are certain players who deflate their opposition by their mere presence. Mr Brad 'side of a house' Robinson is one of those players, and it is a pleasure to welcome him to our newly formed team "The Racks Pack". Is he the final piece of the puzzle or is he just another piece of sky?
Add Brad's talents into the brew mentioned below and we have team capable of not just winning, but winning well every week. And so it begins...
CAPTAINS REPORT
by Mr Keith 'Duke Of Fluke' Walls
"The time for talking was over as The Racks Pack was finally unleashed on an unsuspecting and uninterested Maidenhead Pool League. Robinson, Greenwood, Tredwell, Swann, Southam and Walls - even the Ladbrokes biro was struggling to function properly just writing down the names of these behemoths of the baize!
Having put all the best 'breakers' in at positions 1, 3 and 5, the master stroke by the captain of losing the toss was just one of many selfless acts by yours truly - more on that later.
Unfortunately there were two pieces of bad news for 'the Pack'. Firstly JY didn't make it because he forgot we were even playing. [note from the editor - check with Keith if this was, in fact, bad news] Despite having seen him on Saturday and reminding him it obviously hadn't sunk in. Rather bizarrely it was JY who rang Treddy to tell him where and when we were playing. The second bit of bad news was that the captain was now forced to play twice.
Robinson was put out there to make a statement of intent - and did so. 1-0 became 6-0 at the break despite the opposition complaining we were too loud and getting in everyones way round the table.
Suddenly the pressure was on, who was going to be the first one to lose? In yet another masterstroke by the captain he cleverly placed himself last in the hope that someone messed up before he did. One by one the score went 7-0, 8-0, 9-0 and despite cheering on their opponents, Swanny and 'the Slugger' made it 11-0 - the Slugger taking out our gracious host Andi. The whitewash was now on!
But in a sacrifice not witnessed since Spock shut down the radiation leak in Star Trek 2, the captain threw the final frame. After fluking a treble on his first ball he was left with 6 reds assuming the 'gimme' position on the table. The clearance and 12-0 was on the cards. But a cleverly disguised drag shot which missed the pocket by the tiny amount of 14 cms left Mr C Grant with a chance to restore his teams honour.
Thirty seconds and four pots later it was all over.
11-1, the Bells honour restored, hearty handshakes all round. Will we ever see that sort of sportsmanship again? What a refreshing change from headbutting your opponent in the chest.
We faded off into the shadows. Some went home, some popped into Noctors and some reappeared in a big yellow building to give creative performance input to a "pukka lesbo act".
Next week it's a bye week and a chance for the Captain to get his finger out in the practice rooms - then the big clash with the Thatched Cottage."
THE CAPTAINS "YOU'RE NOT ON TELLY NOW POINTLESS FLAIR" SHOT OF THE WEEK:
This week it goes to the captain. Only marginally snookered behind the red at the bottom of the table and with the black close the opposite corner pocket, he played a non-required swerve round the ball, onto the side cushion and bouncing off just in time to skim the black and pot it.
Thanks to Keith for the report. No game next week so we'll see if we can continue this good form into our first home match of the season.
Slugger
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