Dear Racks Pack...

No game this week so no match report from ex-Coach Walls. Luckily our mailbag is bulging...

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Dear Racks Pack

Wat is ur transfer policy? My team is budg yeah...un"likely" to win anything...I can bring my m8 Ray Mondo, he is nearly as gud as me yeah?!

Andos er....Smith
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Thank you for getting in touch Mr Smith. We're always looking for fresh talent [so that's why we go to Smokey Joe's so much - Editor] but with six unbeaten players and only four dropped frames even a man of your undoubted talents may struggle to get in the team. Especially considering this...

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Dear Racks Pack

Wat is ur transfer policy? We've got two players who look like Right Said Fred...and play like them too. Could you take them under your wing for the rest of the season and show them how to play?

Chairman Terry "T" Dingley
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Thank you Mr Dingley, if we need a couple of boys to test the sandwich we'll let you know.

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Dear Racks Pack

Any chance of passing on Laura Averages email address? She's hot and I haven't had any in ages!

Mr L Stanley; Address , phone number & pictures provided.
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No - we value the confidentiality of Laura as highly as we do all the other hundreds of females fans & admirers. Having said that we've obtained the details of a girl who looks just like Chyna who might be your type!

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Dear Racks Pack

Last week I printed off your blog and went to the toilet for my daily sit-down special. I nearly feel off the seat when I read the stuff about john Molley - is this the same John Molley from Thatched Cottage? There is only one, right?

Anyway I read the blog, drank a babycham, listened to my ipod and squeezed out a loaf all at the same time - is this the ultimate all senses experience?

Disco Dave
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It certainly is impressive DD, but anyone who has ever been on a night out with Messrs Walls & Southam knows the true meaning of an all-senses assault!

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Dear Racks Pack

Great Blog! Love the nicknames, especially Maurice "Sheehan Machine" Sheehan and Ray "Apprentice Dentist" Prentice! Ray is normally called "Merlin" and not because he wears a pointed hat - he uses his cue like a wand! I have no nickname - I dread to think what can you come up with?

Regarding my "marathon" match with Coach Shiel at the Berkshire Open, I blame John for the match being so long as he forgot his abacus, and we had to keep going outside for a fag after each frame to agree what the score was - especially as by the time we played we'd both had more pints in us than a blood bank!

Anyway I'm looking forward to our next encounter with the county's best at the end of September.

Frank Callaghan
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Frank, thanks for getting in touch. It's great to know that the exploits of the Racks Pack are spreading! I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that henceforth you shall be known to us all at Rack Pack towers as Frank "Dirty Harry" Callaghan.

That's it for this week, don't forget to give any and all feedback to us on rackspack@hotmail.co.uk and we'll be back next week with news of our match-up with the Likely Lads!

K&K