Match Report - Home versus The Likely Lads

Why do we play pool cueists? Is it the thrill of the competition? Is it the love of the game? Is it because we like to go out and get lashed up midweek? Well for me it's probably a combination of all three, although less of the third one! We all like to play the game but if it was just that there would be no league. No, it's about the competition. The games against teams that are better than you where you upset the odds, the games where you hammer a local rival 11-1, the game that go on after midnight because they are so close.

It's against this background that we approached this weeks game against the Likely lads, and I for one was looking forward to it immensely. First they are a team of six good players - county players past and present, and no weak link among them. Secondly team captain Terry "Turncoat" Dingley has an uncanny knack of being able to wind up almost anyone, even over the email, so defeating his teams - which would consign them to third place in the league this year - is always gratifying. Finally, most of the players in both teams have been playing pool in one local league or other for decades, so we all know each other. A game against the Likely Lads has the potential to be good fun too!

7PM and I make my earliest arrival of the season, and I was stunned to see Coach Shiel & Neil "105.4" Cameron already at the practice table halfway through a best of three, with Vic hovering in the background. Needless to say Brad had text in saying he couldn't make it and...wait a god-damn minute - he hadn't! Brad had made it! Strike a light! With former-coach Walls absent on a talent spotting tour of Moscow Brad's attendance was a timely boost to our team.

"Bare six tonight Kev, Ben can't make it - he's on holiday & JY is in Middlesborough" Coach gleefully informed me - two games for all of us tonight - back of the net!

Joining me, magic, Coach, Vic & the most hated man in pool shortly before 8PM was Lee.

"Sorry I'm late chaps" as he passed round the team for handshakes "Ben can't make it tonight - he's been at the Irish Club until six am for the last two nights in a row and can't summon up the energy".

First lesson of the evening - always get your story straight.

Captain Dingley had "forgotten" his teams card so after Coach had filled in our names on the team sheet he asked if he could fill his names in on our card. What an amateur, and there's no way Coach Shiel was falling for the old chestnut. Another card was forthcoming from behind the bar by everyone's favourite comely bar wench Amy, and we were ready to rock and roll.

As a silence descended on Racks, match one kicked off with myself "Slugger" Southam against Steve "she wanted more" Carmichael. I love playing first, and I like playing "SWM" Carmichael no less - always an open game and this one was no different. We both had only three visits as "SWM" broke and should have cleared, but missed his final red. I had a pop and missed my final yellow and Steve finished off. An open game, with one bad shot each. I offered the draw but was refused. 0-1

Next up and it's a grudge match - Brad versus Andos. Regular readers will know Andos (a regular contributor to our mailbox) as one half of the Right Said Fred of Thames Valley Pool, but frankly that's an insult to Right Said Fred. Anyone who has heard him sing will know what I mean. Anyway the grudge match was a short lived affair as Brad donned his Chef's outfit, sharpened his pairing knife, and served up the dish of the day. I swear he had a smile on his face as sunk the black - 1-1

Vic versus Raymondo next and it was a cagey affair. Nip, tuck, nip, nip, tuck... it was like watching a hollywood plastic surgeon. Eventually an opportunity presented itself, and Vic took it. Both halves of RSF had lost. 2-1

Coach Shiel was up against "Dancing" Danny Rajput, and played well. At the games conclusion, he left himself with a yellow over the bag and the black in the middle of the table. With the crowd expecting him to drop the yellow in and the black in the middle, surely it was a formality we would be 3-1 up? Coach had other ideas as he tried to nick it in and send the white behind the black and up the table...but hit it too hard and too thin and left a long, difficult black he didn't make, and Dancing made light work of the finish. 2-2

The grinder next, and another grudge match. For the second time in the match two former Irish Club players were against each other as Lee matched up with Pat Fudger Phelan. If any game had the potential to require relieving the referee after two hours this was it, but our fears we totally unfounded as PP broke and Lee G gave him the dessert that was missing from Brad's dish of the day. 3-2

Magic was up next, and Neil "105.4" was drawn against Terry. Another cagey affair with Neil winning pointless flair shot of the week. With his last red over the bag and the black over it Neil was snookered. Surely there was some really clever tactical shot to be played here? The crowd were discussing what it was when Neil played the white off the side cushion and potted his red, leaving a straight black in the opposite corner. World class flair that Wonder Walls would have been proud of. 4-2

It's 1932 and we're at the third game of the world series, George "Babe" Ruth is the greatest living baseball player. Having taken two strikes he stands up to the plate, looks at the pitcher and points it out of the stands. The crown know what he's going to do...so does the pitchers. The home run that followed is the stuff of sporting legend.

Fast-forward to 2008 and Turncoat Terry asks Coach Shiel to play him in the second half. In a jaw dropping manoeuvre, Coach Shiel not only tells Terry where he will be playing, but gives him the card with the second half order filled in. Unbelievable! Ballsy! Had Coach Shiel made a catastrophic tactical error? Only time would tell.

Second half and after Andos & Raymondo had taken up our offer of trying all of the sandwiches we were underway.

Game seven, and Brad was playing Pat. Players had two visits each, and in Brad's book that's enough for any opponent. He dropped the dish on Pat who by the end of the night had two visits and lost both frames. 5-2

After losing in the first half, Andos and Coach Shiel were probably quite happy to be playing each other. The crowd weren't so pleased as Coach Shiel made a strong application to be a non-playing captain ext week, and Brad won the gurning competition whilst considering some of both players shot selections. A double doughnut (00) for Coach Shiel - the first of the Rackspack season. 5-3

Vic was again pitched against Raymondo Woot-meister, and the result was the same. Guaranteed a draw and the pressure was off. 6-3

Neil was playing for the win but had ran out of flair at the crucial time against Steve SWM Carmichael. 6-4

Surely they couldn't scrape a draw? I was up next against Dancing Danny R and I was in the mood to make amends for my earlier loss. First chance came early when I played a great shot to pot my red in off Danny's yellow and behind another that surely would have won flair shot of the week...had a yellow from the pack I had just broken up not bounced across the table off the side cushion and nestled against the white, leaving me totally snookered. The next chance was Danny's - he didn't take it, so I decided to change the tune...and took out a nice finish to seal the victory. 7-4

Last, and by no means least, Lee played Terry at the end...and after Terry failed to make contact with a ball over the bag, Lee was unlucky not to be left in a foul snooker. He was unluckier still to go in off Terry's ball after playing a shot against the only ball he could see, and Terry finished the game on a high. 7-5

So a super victory for the Racks Pack. Credit to the Likely Lads - they took more frames off us on Monday then we had lost all season - but in the end the best team won! Coach Shiel was "never so happy to lose two frames".

Neil gets "quote of the night" to add to his PFSOTW award...I had noticed that while we were chatting after the game, and Terry was ribbing Coach Shiel, Neil was banging a few balls away on the practice table. After a while he came over and said he was happy as he had "just tried that same shot I missed in my frame five times and naused it up each time"!

Chairman Dingley Terry left the building threatening to ban someone, and made a cryptic reference to new additions to the team for next time...and the night was at an end!